I know this is no help, but my parent's had their reception in 1959 in the back of a bar in Bushwick. A neighborhood place that had a backroom. Your post reminded me of that.

r/wedditNYC

Consider Housingworks Bookstore. Gorgeous venue and a portion of the fee is tax deductible.

Banchet flowers. Also porchlight - the food and drinks are stellar

Seconding Housing Works Bookstore, they have such a cute space, super accessible to lots of subway lines, and a good setup for cocktail party flow. Saw a wedding party step out for photos in the street once and im sure the pics turned out amazing.

I also saw a lovely casual wedding reception at Frankie’s 457 Spuntino in Carroll Gardens once - they have a private backyard area / alley w lights that is really cute!

Talea Brewery is gorgeous and has indoor / outdoor areas!

Great Jones Distilling co also does events, I’m not sure the budget you’d need but you can rent out the distillery floor which I always thought would be such a cool wedding

Last recco is to check out Peerspace - sometimes we help clients plan events at work and it’s been useful for finding spaces! I haven’t booked anything on there but also helpful as a tool for inspo / to nail down what you like and don’t like in a venue :)

Check out Peerspace.

If it comes with tables and chairs, that's one extra hassle you don't need to deal with.

Try asking around in NYC subreddits for bars with private rooms to host a birthday - obviously you should still tell the bar it’s a wedding, but that will be a helpful starting point. There should be options in the city that won’t charge a venue rental as long as you hit a certain bar tab minimum.

How many people? $10k doesn’t go super far in nyc…

I love churrascaria plataforma Brazilian bbq restaurant. That could be a fun and unique experience if people aren’t used to it…

How big of a group? Broken shaker, zombie hut, and otto's shrunken head could all be cool.

I am not in NYC but Toronto which is slightly similar and I have been to a couple cool weddings at cultural centers. The Japanese center had a cool design, neat art and not the usual chicken dinner meal.

I mention this often but I thought it was so smart but when I was planning my sil wedding there was a bride who had her wedding at a breakfast restaurant. They usually close in the evening but were happy to open and the guests loved breakfast for dinner.

Hey I have all of the venues right here with their rough pricing and the vibe https://stan.store/PrintHausByMarissaShaye/p/get-your-bundle-nj-wedding-pricing-sheet-now

Sound River Studios may align with your vibe! Though a bit more modern, super customizable. There's also Greenpoint Loft. I also love TWA Hotel and Rule of Thirds (food there is amazinggg).

Have you looked at the TWA hotel?

try checking out Arte Cafe if you haven’t already, they have a few different spaces with different vibes but all have sort of a vintage feel to them i think. my wedding is there next month and they’ve been fantastic to work with, very reasonable pricing, the food is awesome as well! they’re in Manhattan, W 73rd St

From a DJ perspective

Rule of Thirds is a great venue for a DJ because: Atmosphere: It has a modern, artistic, and intimate vibeAcoustics: The design of the space balances open areas with cozy nooks, which can enhance how sound travels and makes the music immersive without being overwhelming.Layout: With multiple rooms and flexible floor plans, DJs can set up in ways that fit both dancing and cocktail vibes, sometimes even running sound in different sections.

Honestly so curious to hear the two venues because option 1 sounds so similar to what we chose although we weren’t really deciding on it against one specific option 2 but that was the other vibe we were looking at. Since we will have a lot of out of towners, I strongly considered option 2s that you’re describing but the pros you mentioned for option 1 is also what we’re more used to and like, what we would expect from a nice wedding in the area (minus that I personally don’t think it looks super “luxe”, has city views, or feels like New York-y for out of towners).

I came to Reddit to see what people had to say about what people care about most in a venue and the biggest thing was like food and music. Obviously music you can pick anywhere (although acoustics of the venue are important!) but food is very specific to the venue. We knew someone who had recently gone to a wedding at our venue and they said food and service were OUTSTANDING and it definitely has a reputation for that. When I saw the place I did fall in love and we booked it, but after seeing a bunch of things from vendors I follow on insta, I was kinda second guessing like will it be “cool” enough for our out of towners who are used to people getting married in places with insane views (lots are coming from California). Ultimately it doesn’t matter because its already booked haha. For us, food is super important and we know that for these out of towners, they also will not have gone to a wedding with an elaborate cocktail hour, such good food, etc, so I think they’ll be impressed in other ways even if not by a super luxe venue with excessive chandeliers. Not sure if this helps much but just kind of saying that I can understand where you’re coming from.

Also I was thinking back on weddings I’ve gone to and we went to one with an outstanding and beautiful view in Southern California on a cliff overlooking the ocean. It was absolutely beautiful. But they had one food truck cater all of the food. The options were limited and it wasn’t even that good. And when I look back on this wedding I just think like it’s such a shame that they didn’t put more effort into the food considering it was otherwise so nice. So like, that’s what ultimately stuck with me. I do think food is what I remember most from weddings and it can really make or break it but maybe that’s just me. But also I think weddings in the New York area have better food than anywhere else in the country so maybe the option 2 is still pretty good.

One other thing I would suggest is look at the venues’ instagram pages so that you can see different ways people decorate each of them. Maybe you’ll see that for option 1 that you’ll be able to get a bit more of that elegant look with your flowers/certain decor and you’ll get some ideas for how it can look. Also if you havent already, look at Google reviews for both venues. I found lots of helpful info when looking for a venue just based on what people wrote there about a whole variety of things.

I hope this was helpful!! :)

Why not include the names of the venue so maybe people can speak to actual experience (as a couple, guest or vendor etc) at each venue?

I’d personally prioritize two things: guest experience and ease of logistics.

Guests remember food, drinks and music - so if one of the venues doesn’t have great food that’s not a good sign.

Also consider which venue is easier to set up in, provides the most amenities and help for the prep and day of.

From your description, I’d prefer Option 1 for the above reasons, and because it feels like you.

I totally feel you on it being once in a lifetime and it’s very hard not to compare your wedding to what we see on social media. But save your sanity and peace of mind by thinking of what would make your wedding day easier for you and your guests. The wedding day is special because it’s your wedding, not necessarily because of a luxe venue.

What really matters is so unique to each couple - suggest making a list of your priorities (whether it's that the space feels authentic to you as a couple or instead, a phenomenal guest experience, despite it being a setting you might not typically hang out).

Regarding Venue 1, you can always choose to get ready at a further hotel that you like better (you would just need to factor in transportation & perhaps a longer photography package because of travel time between hotel & venue). A design that feels basic can always be dressed up (just find a talented event designer/florist & they can transform a room!).

Regarding Venue 2, city views always have a mesmerizing feel to it (especially for out-of-town guests) & can save you on room design (since the eye might be drawn outward to the views).

Hope this is helpful in what sounds like a difficult decision!

Check out Delaware State Parks...northern DE (Wilmington) is a 2ish hour drive from NYC and they have some gorgeous venues, especially if you're looking for fall colors

I recommend Grounds For Sculpture in NJ. It is really beautiful and unique. You can reserve the restaurant fully or partially. It didn't work out for us due to distance but I would've love to have it there.

Check out state parks on Long Island. Heckscher State Park has a huge pavilion with picnic tables, although everything would be outdoors.

North Shore Beach Club in Rocky Point, NY (Long Island) is cheap to rent - but you will need to bring in your own vendors, so you can play with the budget there. The max # of people is 125, figured I’d mention that part. Good luck!

Edited to add that the location would probably be great if most guests are coming from NYC, as its only about 1 hour 15 mins outside of the city by car.

Have you checked out the Queens Botanical Garden btw? It's in NYC (and I've been thinking about it myself too), has an indoor option too (although I would definitely take the outdoors though) and is fairly inexpensive, even with catering.

Wythe! :) I'm having my wedding there this coming fall with guest counts of 100-120

One Hotel Brooklyn Bridge is insanely beautiful and in your budget

Manahatta, Chelsea Hotel, Peak, Hasalon

Some of my favorite are Fandi Mata, Bachuus, Celestine

Hotel Chelsea (capacity is 100 in the Bard room which is gorgeous) or the Purslane venues (Prospect Park Boathouse, Montauk Club, Center for Brooklyn History) -- not a restaurant but they own June Wine Bar & Rucola and the food is great and all their venues are beautiful historic buildings. Would also throw in Harold Pratt House -- you just need to bring in a caterer (they have tables & chairs) but it's also beautiful on its own.

Some other places to look into, not sure on pricing for all of these but they're not to my knowledge considered very high end luxury.

Hotels: Public Hotel, William Vale, Moxy Williamsburg, Ace Hotel Brooklyn

Restaurants: Gran Morsi, The Milling Room, MyMoon, Wandering Barman, Cafe Erzulie, Bottino, Tuffet, Popina

Congrats!!

- Vanderbilt Museum & Mansion (Long Island) – historic estate charm, right on the water, with lots of room to bring in your own setup, and when I visited they had a giant tent setup too.

- Lyndhurst Mansion (Hudson Valley) – dreamy castle vibes with sprawling grounds and separate areas for separate moments of the day. They're a National Trust site, and those tend to be progressive and inclusive too

- Gather Greene (Coxsackie) – more of a forest setting with modern touches

- The Wainwright House (Rye) – elegant and waterfront

- Cedarmere Estate (Roslyn) – hidden gem alert! Garden-meets-waterfront

- Camp Lindenmere (Poconos) – fun camp-style weekend wedding potential, very DIY-friendly. Not really for everybody, but my new neighbors are getting married there so thought of throwing it out there!

If you're open to non-traditional locations, also check sites like Home Ranch or The Venue Report, lots of lesser-known spots you can rent and fully make your own.

These are all venues that to my knowledge have worked with LGBTQ+ couples/vendors, but definitely worth double checking to be welcomed properly :)

I'd take a look at the Northern Catskills. Just about as far from industrial vibes as you'll fine. A few of my favorites: Deer Mountain Inn, Hotel Lilien, Scribner's Lodge and Gather Greene

Dutcher Hollow in the Catskills is 100% what you're looking for. Beautiful outdoor property and very affordable!

Blooming Hill Farm

M&D farm

Owls Hoot Barn

Dca meadowlands or the estate new haven. This would have been a top choice if i were more comfortable with venue only

That’s a big wedding, if you want a venue under 50k consider cutting about a hundred guests or looking outside of NYC. The Prospect Park boathouse and picnic house are both nice, but I’m seeing quotes from other folks who paid around 30-35k for 60-70 guests.

Our guest list is around 150-175 people, so we don't need anything outrageously large.

You don't think 175 people is "large" for a cheap private venue in NYC?

It's in queens, but my wife and I got married at Terrace on the Park last year and the penthouse / top floor was the perfect size for 175 people.

Add extra bartenders. It's $100 extra (total, flat fee) per bartender but it helps the booze flow when it's open bar to have short / no lines at the bar.

I would recommend the same.

A colleague of mine got married at City Hall, with just the 2 of them plus their parents. Then they rented a local restaurant with a large backyard (Cafe Spaghetti) for a few hours to celebrate with their friends.

https://cupofjo.com/2023/03/23/stoop-wedding-in-brooklyn/

Wow!! This so amazing. I absolutely love that you and your wife did this. It's giving me the warm NYC fuzzies. I'm jealous you live in such a neighborly building with a beautiful stoop and backyard. Also, I love your wife's aesthetic for her dress and shoes.

We rented out a private dining cellar in soho and it ended up being over $30k for 85 people for the space and 3 course meal + dessert. With the DJ, jazz trio, open bar, flowers, photographer, hair/makeup, and a new dress/suit, we went upwards of $50k. We also splurged on the nicest hotel room I’ll probably ever stay in.

Having two different celebrations made the entire thing feel like a much larger event. The thought of having a marriage ceremony and party on the same day sounds exhausting.

Hi, welcome!

I just saw this Reddit post about a cozy private bar in Brooklyn -- think you would be a good fit, u/RedTableCatering?

In our sub's wiki, we do have a master list of smaller, restaurant venues. But that post is focused on Brooklyn. If Brooklyn is ok, Bar Blondeau at the Wythe apparently has a minimum that's within your budget; The Fly Brooklyn looks like a great bar, frankly; and Vinegar Hill House has a variety of room sizes.

Hope others can chime in too!

Check out Brindamour Studios -- just ask for a custom package that includes only what you want.

Text of original post: Looking for NYC or NJ (along the Hudson only) venues for a small cocktail reception to celebrate our marriage. We don't care for any traditional wedding aspects and only want to gather 25-35 of our closest friends and family in a room with an open bar, music and possibly some hors d'oeuvres. No formalities or sit-down dinners, just a swanky room for a few hrs on any day of the week. Would love to have modern, eclectic decor, AMAZING cocktails and the option to plug in our own music. Are there any spaces were we could make this happen this year for less than 5k?? Please help!

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