Que temas usas para los colores azules en el explorer? sin el blur....

10/10

When did Bumble even roll out this feature

Wait....this requires a premium right?

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This, too, is a love story was the first that came to mind including a dating app, but it is a WIP and the actual wolfstar hasn't happened yet. Still super cute! I feel like there are more I've read but I'd need to search.

There were several in the Moony's Midlife Crisis fest such as Brown Cardigans Don't Attract Cool Boyfriends, Dad andr/relationship advice .

Avoid Grindr. Scruff can work if you’re clear about wanting to date and not just chat or hook up. But, if you’re in a city with a decent number of gay people, you’re better off using not-explicitly-gay apps like Hinge.

First, set your expectations very low for finding love on Grindr and probably Scruff as well. It’s not impossible to get some dates off of those apps, but they are primarily hookup apps. If you’re open to the occasional romp around in the bed, then by all means, feel free to keep them.

Second, if you haven’t really used apps, you are going to have to learn pretty quickly how to spot scam bots if it’s not a skill you’ve developed. There are a few consistent ones on various apps. I know most of the Grindr ones and a few of the Scruff ones. Some basics to keep in mind for apps in which you can list your age, height, and weight, see if those things reasonably match the person in the picture (assuming you’re corresponding with someone with a picture in their profile). Like, if you see a guy who is super buff, but his stats say he’s like 5’ 6” and 110 lbs (convert to metric units if it’s more useful), you’re dealing with a bot. Another freebie, if a profile is of a dude, typically conventionally attractive, who is a massage therapist who goes into details about his methods, 999 times out of 1000, that’s a bot.

Third, if you aren’t already familiar with a lot of different names, symbols, and codes for meth, get to learning. The sooner you can spot someone signaling that they use meth, the more time you save yourself.

And my last bit of advice on this comment, don’t lean too hard on apps to meet people if you’re reasonably capable of meeting people in person. I threw in that caveat because I know there are a good number of reasons why going to a place where you can reliably find gay people is not an easy thing for some people. 

Yeah stop thinking of yourself as old. Talk to the other 38 yo geezers. Many of them will tell you their 30s is when they started getting the most attention.

38 isn’t old 😭

Grindr and Scruff are not really dating apps. They are hook up apps. Can a relationship arise from them? Of course, anything can happen. Is that the primary reason a large part of their user base is on them? No. Accept that those two apps are designed to promote quick, often one time encounters, and don’t try to force them to be the place you’re going to meet your next long term relationship and you'll have a much better time on them.

I never used the other apps you mentioned, so I’ll let others speak to their experiences on there

What a stupid list.

Jay Kelley is DOA and everyone has known that for a month. Nuremberg and Wake up Dead Man have better chances.

Anemone has not screened publicly. Putting it in anything but “Time will tell” is stupid especially if you are putting Wicked in “Time will tell”. We’ve already seen half of those performances and they were nominated. Does that “journalist” think Erivo and Grande just sleepwalked through the rest of the production. I would also say Best Actress and Best Supporting actress are very weak this year as of right now. The “time will tell” doesn’t even have much to make them competitive aside from Erivo and Grande.

Nothing but stupid trade pr bought for by some of the studios to try and spin reality.

Gold derby can be slow on the pickup. But it is as good as we are gonna get without daily monitoring of screenings and ratings on IMDb and Letterbox. Those don’t take into account whether the studios are strong in campaigning for Oscars and how many films and in what category each stdio is juggling.

No dating apps girl!! 😭

I would say try it, but don't get too intense or attached in the beginning. Take it as an opportunity to start off slowly, talking to people and maybe experience going on a couple of dates. When you put yourself out there, dating won't feel like this scary thing that's impossible to imagine yourself doing.

Prioritise your safety though! Talk at least a week before meeting up, if you feel they are being pushy or sexual in these stages itself don't go ahead. Initial meetups in a public place, and share your location with a trustworthy friend. All the best!

this felt like i was reading about myself 😟

You're 22! Don't stress, you have a long long time for all this.

May I suggest you try and meet people through your hobbies and interests before getting on the apps? Board game meetups, silent reading groups, run clubs, weekend art workshops, drama or improv classes, indie movie screenings are just some ideas off the top of my head. Easiest in Mumbai/NCR/Bangalore but other big cities have these too.

First of all, thank you for this post. It's really cool that you compiled all this data about your experiences with these types of events. You put in a lot of detail that it feels like even for those of us not currently on the market, it was an interesting read.

I know it's spread out over 3 years, but 70 first dates seems like a lot. Did none of this really turn into a relationship? What was the longest relationship to come out of those dates?

What tends to be reasons that you don't want to pursue second or third dates with some of those people? What characteristics are you looking for that you think are so rare, that none of those dates had what you're looking for? Or are you not seeking a long-term relationship out of all of this dating? Mostly just curiosity, apologies if I'm coming off sounding judgmental, I understand that the dating world out there is really challenging for everyone, not just guys.

>Also, if you have suggestions for other ways to meet people, I’d love to hear them.

Believe it or not, I made a really great connection with my amazingly awesome girlfriend, right here on reddit, r/r4r

It’s cool that you’ve tried all of these but I think the lesson im taking away is that these singles events don’t lead to long term relationships lol

You've been on more than 70 first dates and none of them have led to anything long term?

shudders

jesus christ, my ugly, goofy ass is cooked. I'm going to die alone

Thanks for this! 37M who just moved back to the area in February after five years away, and DC dating is…just as exhausting as I remember it! There are a few services I didn’t know about, though, so I’ll look into trying them.

In general I agree with you about speed dating; I’m increasingly realizing it’s not for me. Of all the ones I’ve tried, I do prefer Shuffle the most because it offers longer talk times and financial penalties for no-shows (which means those happen pretty rarely). But to your point, when you’re talking to 7-8 people for 10 minutes each it can get VERY draining.

I'll share my experience.

1. On matrimony apps, If profile managed by parents, the given person may not be interested in marriage or will not put efforts in building real connection, and this behaviour is kinda encouraged by parents due to demand and supply.

2. Talking to multiple prospects happens a lot, similar to dating apps, reason for not putting efforts.

3. On dating apps timelines are not fixed to build connection, on matrimony, timelines are fixed to build connection if it ever happens, unless you find gem of a person.

4. Only one thing is similar, both platforms are scam, lures and exploits desparate ones, mostly men.

OP… honestly, while scrolling through a matrimonial site today, I had the exact same question in mind!!

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Well, I get matches only in one of them, so there's that.

Lol. Many years ago my dad said the same thing to me, OP. That this jeevansathi etc etc is as good as your dating apps (I was very open about my dating with my parents and he knew how apps worked).

Ultimately Bumble worked best for me. But shaadi jeevansathi is just the same with the element of parents, kundali, salary attached... A lot more nonsense is on AM apps than dating apps.

At least dating apps par kisi ka baap tumko scam nahi maar raha...

There are lots of ways people I know have met their LTR people:

• Rec leagues - can join as an individual and I think have teams of just individual-joiners (beach volleyball was my favorite - sunset on the beach after work - literally COVERED in people playing, and HH w your team after each one; other indoor / outdoor sports, even things like skeeball) ^ some of these leagues are specifically for “singles” looking to date

• lots of social clubs and groups - boardgames, book clubs, art, music, tech (you can find a lot on meetup.com but a few google searches can also help you find resources)

• A number of people have met friends and sig others at the gym. You can also start building some friend groups at places like a yoga studio. Anything where people use it as their “third space.” Also running groups, boot camps…

• lots of little speed dating events (city swoon is good bc after the little dating rounds, most people stay to hang out in the rented space after, and you know every single person there is also interested in finding someone and is often there without friends; gives you a chance to talk to people you didn’t meet, make girl friends, or continue convos you liked)

Tons of people in Chi around your age are actively looking for their partners. Many of their friends may have already done so and moved a little further out to the burbs to raise kids — there are some preferred burbs for diff types of people and life stages.

Sure, there’s hookup culture. Meeting people at bars on a Fri or Sat night is far less likely to result in an LTR but it happens. I just don’t know anyone who’s had that happen — usually it’s been from friend groups they’ve developed or dating apps.

I’d recommend starting with building a group of friends - prioritize that, find people you can be yourself around. People in Chi are super welcoming bc it’s a big transplant city; most are very used to integrating new people into their lives. Don’t just stick with any new friends - make sure they bring out the best in you, and ideally, have similar goals. Once you get one or two people like that, you’ll have a domino effect of meeting more and more people like them. I’ve known more than one person who’s had success with the bumble friend thing.

You’ll have even more luck if you lead the charge in getting those new friends to join a rec league or social club or event. Be the initiator. Have parties and encourage people to bring friends.

Do your absolute best to put yourself in new and uncomfortable situations where you don’t know anyone. Give yourself the best chance of casting a wide net to discover the most compatible people around you.

I’m sure, living in NYC, this stuff prob doesn’t even need to be said, you’re prob more comfortable w these unfamiliar social situations.

Sorry this is long. Figured I’d give ya a brain dump. I think you’ll be surprised at how many people are looking for something lasting, and lots of people in Chi (like many blue cities) wait to get married until a little later, so don’t have that mentality of, “whoever’s left doesn’t wanna get married or sucks.” If this is what you want, and you’re willing to put in the effort, it’s absolutely obtainable. Just don’t wait for it to come to you. Come on over!

29m.

I’m on reddit a bit and see a lot of discourse on NYC for some reason?

(Can’t speak for everyone)

But seems like NYC is great for tons of options and dates… but for the reasons you cited seems harder to lock down long term.

I feel like here’s a decent mix of both?

Apps are a necessary evil I keep in between maybe meeting people organically

I’ve seen a lot more women here looking for LTR’s and “life partners” vs those who just seem like they’re casually dating.

(Of course I have no idea what men here seem to be looking for) but the vibe I’ve gotten of the city is there’s a lot more options and feels like more people here are dating with intention.

Also as a POC I’ve noticed infinitely more diversity here than back home.

However, I’m from the South and you’re from NYC so we may have two different perspectives on “diversity” in terms of dating options.

I think like I’d tell anyone: Keep the apps around and keep a solid profile that really sells you and what you want while also being open and putting yourself out there irl for organic connection.

If you’re new here when you move and don’t have people honestly focusing on getting a solid friend group could be the prio because that feels most important.

Dating can come pretty easily during and after once you really start establishing friends here! Lot of my friends I’ve made have introduced me to people too since I’ve been single again.

I think you’ll do fine. Good luck!

This is a long way of saying there are a lot of 29 year old female New Yorkers who do not realize the role they are playing in their own difficulties, and think moving to Chicago will solve it. It is common enough to be a bit of a stereotype.

My wife was a NYC > Chicago transplant at 29, I know many others, and this is a subject that comes up with some regularity here and in my friend group.

>I’m sure everyone knows that New York City dating is equivalent to one of the 7 layers of Hell and because it’s such a transient city no one is really looking to get married and start a family.

This feels true but the data does not support it. New Yorkers are getting married all the time. It is true among *certain populations* of which you appear to be a member of.

>But from the Reddit perspective, what’s dating like in Chicago, particularly as a Caribbean/Latina/WOC?

What should I expect if I refuse to be on the dating apps?

Difficulty.

I'm going to be super candid as I have NYC female friends who cruise into their 30s and "can't find a husband", because they believe their unreasonable expectations are reasonable.

"I want a man who makes more than me, is taller than me, has status at least as high as mine. As an ambitious New Yorker I now make a lot of money, and men who make more than me do not marry women like me, but I still deserve it."

Men have their own version of this, don't get me wrong. But it's particularly toxic for late 20s/early 30s women in New York.

I gotta say I have found that the straight men in Chicago are very outwardly focused on settling down and specifically having kids while also being very noncommittal.

I moved to Chicago in 2016 from India and had been using dating apps like hinge and tinder to find someone. Dating apps really suck in my opinion - maybe other apps are better. Most people I met only wanted to hook up/have flings. I eventually met my current husband at a social club downtown.