You’re allowed to leave just because you want to. It might hurt him, but staying in a relationship you don’t want is unfair to both of you.

You’re young, pull the plug and enjoy your youth.

I think there’s a few things to keep in mind here.

The first is that you are going to hurt her. It’s almost unavoidable. The only way you’re not gonna hurt her is if she’s thinking the same thing and just hasn’t wanted to tell you for the same reason you don’t want to tell her. Hopefully that’s the case quite frankly it’s the best breakup strategy I’ve ever experienced, but you can’t rely on it because you don’t know how she feels .

So accept that you are going to hurt her, and just try to minimize the hurt. Start by avoiding platitudes. Don’t say anything even remotely like it’s not you. It’s me or I love you, but I’m not in love with you. You know why you don’t wanna say that shit? Because nobody fucking believes it. It sounds patronizing.

Try to be as honest as you can without being hurtful. Tell her that you just don’t feel it anymore and that you tried to feel it, but you can’t make it work. If there are any specific actual things that she did that hurt your ability to love her , tell her gently. Stuff like you don’t seem to listen to me or I felt like I was the only one who cared about this. I’m not saying you should make those things up, if you don’t have anything like that, don’t say it, but I feel like if you’re ending the relationship, there’s got to be something there that you just feel can’t work.

The stuff about you don’t want children in marriage and she does want. That is a huge thing to mention. It’s objective if you straight up just never want to have kids and this other person does that’s a that’s a stumbling block that really is very hard to overcome. Either you’ll be resentful because you were forced to have children to keep the relationship or she’ll be resentful because she doesn’t get to have children . It’s absolutely OK to make a point of all the ways you guys differ and all the ways you don’t think it’ll work without making it about her being bad.

I really hope it works out for you. I don’t have a great track record on breaking up with my girlfriends. One of them were great. The other three all crashed and burn spectacularly. I’m now a bit of a bisexual cliché, and that I ended up with a man, but that one’s kind of a weird experience all of its own, and I didn’t break up with him the first time very well either..

Love is a feeling and staying is a choice. Have u ever thought of talking this with her?

well he will get hurt regardless thats just the truth. but he deserves to know what you just said so he doesn’t waste time with you anymore and you dont waste time too. if talking is too much, write him a letter explaining this and please no damn texting that would be insensitive

I am pretty sure you will have to break up with and then go through evictions if they won’t leave willingly.

Have, a friend/ cop come by and breakup with witnesses, you said they have a temper so be extra carefull. Have an eviction notice printed and give them a week to move out. Move everything of value and documents you have to a trust friends place and for that week move there, for your safety let your landlord know, so they cant get squatter rights or something.

I'd suggest you make the differences glaringly clear that you guys have irreconcilable differences. Since you meet at work, it has to be an understanding from both parties don't rush it. They also have to be ready

This is how I broke up with my boyfriend. I told him about the things he did that bothered me and then I told him I couldn't deal with them and I couldn't stay and I said bye and blocked him

I have recently broken up with my bf. We did not have big issues but we grew distant over the time and I was feeling like just the idea of having a relationship was draining my mental and emotional battery. I was catching myself avoiding to meet or communicate with him. So, I did the right thing for both of us and ended the relationship. First, I wrote a kind but clear break up speech. It would give you great clearity about whether you really want to do it or not. Once I was sure about my decision, I met with him in a quite coffee shop and made my speech. Hope this would help. If you don't know how to write such a speech, I recommand asking help from the AI chatbots -that's what I did 😄- and discussing your final results with your close friends. Last but not least, good luck.

Frankly sit down with them explain its over, your reasons, etc. It will never be pretty, some will try to stab you, but it's best to be clear and up front that you are moving on and here are the reasons. Not being a dick is a plus here.

Move across the country, change your name, and send them an edible arrangement.

And as soon as it's determined a relationship should end.

Honesty is key! Sadness is not avoidable, so don’t try “protecting them” from the truth.

Who has two thumbs and is breaking up with you?

THIS GUY!!!

Girl, I’ve been there, and let me tell you, leaving an emotionally manipulative, avoidant, narcissistic man feels like hell at first, but it’s the first step toward finally breathing again. I was 33, stuck in a long-distance relationship with a guy who love-bombed me, played victim, and twisted every damn conversation to make me feel like I was the problem. Every time I tried to walk away, he’d guilt-trip me, cry, or suddenly “open up” just enough to keep me on the hook. And just like you, I felt nauseous, guilty, torn, but also exhausted and empty.

The truth? Those tears weren’t about love, they were about control. Narcissistic, avoidant men hate losing power, not you. And if you don’t cut the cord now, you’ll keep reliving this emotional rollercoaster until it chips away everything good in you. I broke free the moment I realized: his emotions aren’t my responsibility. If he’s falling apart, that’s on him, not on you. And let’s be real; if he truly loved you, he wouldn’t be isolating you from your own damn family.

You don’t need to feel ready. You just need to be done. Block. Delete. Vanish. No explanation. No second-guessing. He’ll survive. You’ll heal. And one day, you’ll look back and wonder how you ever mistook that chaos for love.

You’ve got this. Choose you this time. ❤️

I know the feeling. I’m honestly in a similar situation currently. I tried to break up the three months ago and my boyfriend did exactly what yours did—he cried and said all the right things and begged me for another chance. I immediately felt like I’d made a horrible mistake and caved.

Three months later, I feel the same way I did before. Maybe a little more assured in my decision because I tried some other solutions that didn’t work during that time. I honestly wish I had left the first time.

I’m going to end it soon and plan to create less opportunity for him to make it an emotional experience this time. I am considering doing it in a public place, so that he will have to keep it together. I also plan to answer his questions and give him an explanation, but not entertain questions about things he or I could do to fix things. 

I think, for us both, we need to stand firm that we are making the right choice and remind ourselves of that when the time comes.

Good luck to you OP!

My suggestions: start looking for your own place now. Get an apartment. Make it real. He's going to tell you you're wrong about everything. He's going to try to get you to give him another chance. Don't let him. You are correct that he's not doing the bare minimum.

There's no way to do this without hurting him. But breaking up with someone is the one thing you can do in a relationship without the other person's consent.

You could say somethibg like "I feel like we haven't grown together." Indicating a pattern of his behavior, rather than saying "Remember that time my grandma died, and you made me buy you dinner because you didn't feel like cooking? Yeah." He will try to say that one isolated incident, or a few incidents, isn't grounds to break up.

In the months to years after the breakup, his behavior will seem just as appalling to you as it does to us, because the memories of the good times will fade. The memories of the bad behavior will become clearer than ever.

Just say we have to break up & if he says anything after that say, “that’s stinky”.

Just kidding.

Whose place is it. Yours or his? Either way. He should be helping pay for everything or he pay for the food and ordering out cost & maybe something else if it doesn’t equal out between you two. BUT besides that you should tell him he’s not being emotionally supportive. If he doesn’t change that then he won’t in the future, best to cut the ties.

My bfs thoughts: he sounds like he got too comfy with the day to day life you guys have. Has he always been like this & you’re just now noticing? He seems to be taking advantage of the fact that you pay for everything. Stop paying for these things and see what happens. Will he step up?

Have you talked to him about any of these issues to tell him they are issues for you? If so, the conversation is relatively straightforward--you love him but this relationship is no longer meeting your needs, and given that he is not interested in fixing that, you need to move on.

If he has no idea these are issues, then I think you need to have that conversation first.

It might be helpful to remember that him not being the right person for you doesn't make him a bad person or mean you don't love him. It just means you are not a fit--and you deserve to be happy.

You are not compatible and he offers you nothing. No kindness, care or consideration. You may love him but he doesn’t love you. Love is a verb.

You really need to make empathy and kindness a nonnegotiable moving forward in your next relationship or you will end up with the same type of guy. In 20 years you’d be one of those women coming on the internet to tell us how much her husband hates her and how she wished she’d left earlier. You need to leave knowing you really deserve and can do better.

There is no good way. But you just have to rip the bandaid off. Beforehand, have yourself a plan for who is going to move out (you, him, both?) and the logistics - where you will go, when, have your finances in order, will you need movers, etc.

This is why it's such a good idea to date for a good long while without moving in with someone because breaking up is so much harder when you live with someone. And because breaking up is harder, people tend to stay long past a relationship's expiration date.

First, develop an exit plan. Then, find a good time to talk. Finally, be clear and direct. Don’t use euphemisms. Don’t make excuses, because they might try and talk you out of it. Just be kind and clear. I need to end this relationship.

The best thing to do is to have a direct clear conversation about expectations and what you want. Just lay it out - this is what I want and because of that I need to move on.

Good luck- I really hope that it’s a tough conversation that leads to good things for both of you.

Breaking up with someone is so hard- especially if you don’t want to hurt their feelings or if they haven’t done anything particularly wrong- but it will allow you both space in your life to find partners more suited to you in the future. Your approach really depends on you, your situation, why you want to break up, how you normally communicate, but in general you want to do a couple of things:

1. Let them know that you want to have a serious conversation with them- ideally at a time when it’s likely they’ll be able to have the conversation right away. If they aren’t, schedule a time to talk ASAP.

2. Just let them know as clearly kindly as possible. You don’t have to lie or sugar-coat it, but don’t leave room for interpretation either. Something like, “I really care about you, but I’ve realized that [I don’t think this will work long term/we have different goals/this isn’t working/whatever is true] and I think we should break up.”

3. If your partner is prone to lashing out, have an exit plan before the breakup- but even if they aren’t, you’re breaking up with them so have a reasonable move-out plan in place and don’t drag it out and plan to keep living there for months or anything like that if at all possible. It just makes things a lot harder.

4. Be prepared to answer questions about why you want to break up. They may not ask, but they may want to know if they did anything wrong, or what has changed. Try to consider answers that give them some information but are considerate of their feelings- without knowing more it’s hard to be more specific.

5. After the breakup and move-out, once all of the logistics have been taken care of, even if you two agree to stay friends, spend a couple of months going no-contact. You need time away from each other to heal and adjust to single life and being in each other’s periphery will not give you that. If you do want to have a friendship, discuss taking time and reconvening in 2-4 months.

You have to put yourself first. If you don’t, you’re just giving him false hope too. It may feel cruel, but he needs to find someone who will want to be in a relationship with him.
Be kind, but be assertive. Tell him that you feel he deserves someone who wants the same thing he does and that it isn’t you.

Even though it sucks, it is not your responsibility to take care of him. I was hesitant to break up with my ex because he said he relied on me so much. But ultimately your boyfriend is an adult and will survive the breakup, and if you're ready to go, just do it! Better now than later when it's inevitable. I definitely encourage you to be kind when you break up with him, and be respectful (don't belittle him, and give him any stuff of his that you have back to him). End of the day you are free to leave any relationship for any reason. It is hard to hurt someone you loved and know loved you, but everyone will survive. And if you know this is not the one, it will be better for both in the long run of you to end it now.

> I need advice on how to break up.

Before you break up:

• Make sure your partner knows you're not happy and why. Give each other a chance to make it work. By doing this, it also won't come as a complete surprise. Be sincere in your attempt to make it work.

Where to break up:

• Generally you should pick a private location, where your partner feels safe. However if your partner is emotionally or physically abusive, then you should pick a public location.

• Figure out any logistics. Do you have to move, if so to where? Are there items that need to be split?

• Prepare yourself for deep emotions from both sides.

• Let your close friends know beforehand, that way they can be there to support you.

While you break up:

• Start straightforward. Be emphatic, but make it very clear from the start. Say something like "This is hard and it hurts me and I know it hurts you, but I can't be in this relationship any more."

• Explain why you want to break up. Don't turn it into a blame game, try to find a middle ground, if possible. Later your partner is going to look for reasons, If you give good honest reasons, you make that process easier.

• Don't change your mind.

• If they beg, know that someone shouldn't have to beg. Trust you made the right decision.

• If they get angry, stay calm. Understand that it's a response to pain.

• If they become sad, show empathy, say that you know you've hurt them, apologize for doing this to them.

• If they promise to change, remember, you already tried this in the previous phase. It didn't work then, it's not going to work now either.

After breaking up:

• Tell your friends and family right away. It's common to feel alone after breaking up, your friends and family can soften the blow for you.

• Make sure you sleep at least 7 hours every night. Exercise, keep an eye on your food intake. Don't numb yourself with alcohol and drugs.

• If you regret your decision, give yourself time to be certain. You didn't just decide this overnight, so don't run back to. Whatever made you decide this in the first place more than likely won't be resolved. Block your ex on social media, at least for now. Maybe in some time, you can look at your ex again, but for now it's better to stop looking. If you can't bring yourself to do that, at the very least hide their updates.

Sit down one night and write down what you learned from your relationship.

Take the time to really think about this. What could you have done better? What mistake will you not make again? Wait two weeks, then do this again. Even if your partner was to blame for most of it, there were still things you could have handled better, traps you won't fall into again. Think about these things.

• How to get over your ex instantly (3M+ views)
• How to fix a broken heart (TED video 5M+ views).
• How To Get Over A Breakup FAST | Jordan Peterson (200K+ views)

Repeat these phrases once a day:

• I love myself
• I want to be happy
• Screw him/her
• I am better off without him or her, because…
• It has been X days since we broke up, and I feel…
• I will find someone better

Back to breaking up in general:

Most watched Youtube Videos:

• How To Break Up With Someone Who Loves You The Right Way
• How To Successfully Break Up With Someone
• The Worst and Best Ways to Tell Someone It’s Over

Wikihow:

• How to Break Up
• How to Break Up Easily

i usually feign my death and move on.

In person. Just be upfront and honest and don't send mixed signals or act like there's a chance to get back together later if there's not.

ghost them - not like ignore them, but start dressing up in ghost costumes and scaring them

Directly, clearly, without insult or malice.

It depends on how long and how seriously you have been together. If you’ve only been on 1-2 dates and haven’t been intimate, a simple “Sorry, but I don’t see us going anywhere, good luck out there” via text is fine — honestly, after one non-sexual date even just ghosting should be fine. If you’ve been together a month or more and have had sex at least a couple of times, you probably need to sit down face-to-face and let the other person ask all the questions they need. And if you’ve been together for a year or more, live together, share bank accounts, etc., then you need to have multiple sit-downs to not only process feelings, but also to resolve the real-life consequences of the breakup.

Or you can ignore all of this and do what my live-in girlfriend of 3 1/2 years did and say you’re going to visit your family and never come back. Ultimately you’re just as broken up any way you slice it.

Just tell them you’d like to talk and then honestly explain in an empathetic way that you feel it’s time to move on and be honest about why. Be understanding and comforting. There’s no easy way to do it but it’s best to just get to the point and be open about it.

Tell them you want to break up. The truth is always the best.

All emotions aside (don't break up with them in an emotional state)

List reasons why you're greatful for them

Then list reasons why you're not happy/reasons why you legit can't go on

Then list things you guys can still do together/things you look forward to in life.

Infact be nice. And be positive. And be empathetic. Cry together x

Be honest without being hurtful.

Let them break up with you.

You meet at a public place and say something like, “I know you don’t want to lose me, but I can’t be with anyone until I spend some time working on myself. I am sorry this hurts, but it’s what needs to happen as I can’t commit to anyone, even someone as great as you, until I do this work. I hope we can stay friendly if/ when we run into each other, but right now I need this. I hope that with time you will understand how much this matters to me.”

Then you leave and you don’t answer his calls. If you do see or talk to him, remind him that you need space and that it’s non negotiable. Do not buy into the idea that you need to comfort him or try to make it so he isn’t hurt or angry. Let him grieve, but let him grieve far away from you.

Show him the respect of not sugar coating it. You are breaking up. You aren’t going to make a promise about the future, and you aren’t going to stay friends, but you hope to be cordial.

Good luck. You are going to be sad, but mostly relieved, when you finally take care of it.

I want to break up.

You be honest. “I tried to make this work and I have too much of my own stuff to deal with and I don’t want a relationship at this time.”

And really , that’s it. You tried to telling him up front, but he wheedled and begged.

Well, against your better judgement you tried. As you’re not happy perhaps you should listen to your gut more.

"hey Billy Bob, this relationship isn't working out for me. i enjoyed our time together and wish you the best." then block him

It's not a negotiation; he doesn't get to insist that it's fine. You don't get to avoid hurting him. These are just how things are.

The way you break up is by being clear and direct.

"BF; I don't feel like we are working out. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I've realized that this isn't what I want, and I need to work on my own shit. I'm breaking up with you."

That's it. Don't let him talk you into it; if he starts trying to bargain or cajole or negotiate, you stay firm. "My mind is made up." Make arrangements to drop off his things and have him drop off yours somewhere, and move on. He'll be hurt, but that's okay. Breaking up sucks, and he's allowed to be upset about it. It stops being your problem once you break up. You can be sad that he's hurting, but it's no longer your place to solve that or minimize it. He needs to deal with the breakup his own way.

While I’ve never had to be the one to break up a relationship because I’m the one who always gets broken up with. I say just be honest and communicate your feelings. Be respectful and understand their feelings because in this you kind of need to understand both sides. I can’t promise anything but I think everything will be okay. It seems scary to think of this but it’s better to end the relationship rather than forcing yourself to stay in that relationship when you feel nothing for the person anymore.

Its going to be tough no doubt, but just voice how you feel, and keep it genuine. dont start it off wit its not you its me lmaoo. but just speak form the heart and im sure he'll understand

'Avoid conflict', 'long distance', understood - this tells me that a phone call is how you should do it. Just tell them how you feel and that you don't want to be in a relationship with them anymore. It's a tough conversation sometimes, but you have to do it. Just be yourself and you got this.

I was in a similar situation. What gave me peace was that he would be happier in the long run. If he’s a great guy, he deserves the love he deserves. You aren’t a bad person for not being able to provide that, some people just don’t work out.

Long-distance can be such a vibe killer, right? I feel you. Breaking up sucks, but it’s like ripping off a Band-Aid—better fast and honest. Just be straight up about how you feel and why it’s not working for you. It’s gonna be rough, but it's the fairest thing for both of you. And hey, ice cream post-breakup is a must. Good luck!

As someone who was pretty much in the same exact position as your SO (in a relationship 4 years, depressed at the time, same age) I would just say communicate. Be clear and honest about what you're feeling and what got you to this point.

I dated my SO for 4 years and she came home out of the blue one day and just said she's done. She wouldn't elaborate, there was no back and forth, it was just over. This was a day after she was talking about wanting to get married and our future life together. I was given no explanation of what led her to the decision and she had never expressed she was unhappy leading up to her ending it. I then had to move out of our apartment and back in with my parents, take our cat, and she never talked to me again. I had relationships end badly before, but this one was a different animal. It was almost like she passed away suddenly. We spent all of our time together then all the sudden she moved away and she never acknowledged me again. That happened 3 years ago and I'm still seeing its effects on me and my current relationships.

I'm not saying any of this to make you feel bad, if you're not happy in a relationship then by all means move on to something that makes happy. Just consider your partner, be 100% open and honest and that's all you can do.

Start with empathy, and then move on into clear communication.

If things just aren't working out for you, do some thinking on why. It's ok to leave anyone at any time, but leaving without explaining what isn't working (focusing on "I" statements rather than your partner's flaws) is a mean thing to do if you can avoid it. Figure it out, work through how to say it. Get clear in your mind the future you want to see and speak to that. Something like "I want a world where my passions are fulfilled, and where your hobbies are supported" or whatever is appropriate to your situation. Don't go through the laundry list of disappointments and old fights - just talk about the future you that you need so your partner sees why s/he isn't the right fit.

After that, find a good time, let them know you want to talk over your relationship, and have the talk. It won't be fun, but if you focus on the future rather than rehashing the past, it will be less awful.

I would advise not getting into details in the first conversation - who gets the cats, when you move out, all that - as your partner is several steps behind in thinking about things. Even with the best of intents, going from "I'm leaving" to "Next tuesday, and I'm keeping the Game of Thrones box set!" is again unkind. Don't steamroller your partner. Let them have time to ask questions and get this straight in their head. Then talk details and hash out who gets what and when you move and all that.

Good luck.

I've been down this road before. It's hard and an unpleasant, but always remember that your happiness is extremely important. If you're not happy, it's time to move on. It seems like you have already made that decision, so let that be your mantra.

First and foremost, I would activate your support group (family and close friends). I would tell them that you have made an absolute decision about your relationship and that you may need their support in the coming days / weeks / months. Having that support available will be a huge help if you need some reassurance or a place to go to.

The next thing I would do is come up with your plan. What is a reasonable time frame for you to find a new place and move out (don't assume your SO will move out, make sure you have planned for it)? What is a reasonable plan for custody of your cats? Are there any shared assets or objects that need to be dealt with? Yeah, you're not married, so none of this is owed; however, you should act like a reasonable adult that is trying to make a painful situation as painless as possible. Don't expect what you think is reasonable to be accepted as reasonable. You might need to negotiate, but at least have a plan.

Once you're prepared, it's time to have the conversation with your SO. Do your best to be rational and calm. Don't re-litigate fights, start new ones, or take any bait. The best outcome is to have a mutual breakup; however, they may beg, ask for a second chance, etc. and you need to be firm about your decision. I would recommend not staying at your place for a few nights once you have the conversation just so you can create some space, but that's up to you. Do your best to be kind and empathetic. I don't believe in karma, but I avoid the bad kind as much as possible.

I think if you do these things, it will help soften the hard edges of this situation, at least a little. It will also help you walk away from this situation with your integrity, which is an important thing. Have a plan, execute your plan, don't look back, and live confidently with your decision. Good luck and be well.

There is plenty of good advice here, which I won't reiterate, but a few things to consider:

Write out your problems and your plans, don'tjust wing it. It will help you get things straight in your head.

Before the big day, quietly move out anything deeply personal. Just things that are entirely yours from before the relationship (and not subject to negotiation). Your car will do , but out of easy reach. People sometimes react irrationally, and having someone break something dear to you out of sudden anger won't make matters easier for anyone.

Make sure you have all the information you need from shared computers/calendars/etc. Update your contacts, your account info, passwords, etc. You don't want to have to call him a half dozen times after asking for the Verizon password.

Clean up your financial accounts. If you have a joint account, get a different account at a different bank. Change over direct payments/deposits to your new account. Anything that is as solely yours, change the password, account reset info, contact number and email - even if you think he doesn't know it.

Good luck. It will suck, but then it will be done, and your life will be better.

Wow. I wish my ex bf had parents like you guys when he ghosted me after 2.5 years of being/ living together. This is all really good advice OP. Please be kind to your partner in the end.

Wouldn’t mention the break up in the text, just say you need to talk. If your partner cannot respect your feelings despite knowing how their actions make you feel, then they simply do not respect you

from someone who has just recently gotten broken up with my best advice to you would be to not distance yourself to prepare her, i completely get ur logic by doing that but from someone who was on the receiving end of that it is gut wrenching. i completely get where ur coming from with not wanting to hurt her at all and its not something ur gonna be able to avoid, its gonna hurt like hell for both of you! i would suggest meeting somewhere whether it be ur house or somewhere private and express ur thoughts! im sure she loves and cares for you just as much as she does for you, she may not be able to show it in a way that computes with your brain! having a conversation where you guys talk about how you both are feeling and what both of you need from each other in order to feel loved is definitely a good start. and if you guys feel that after sharing you may not be the right fit for each other then thats just how it is! im no expert at all but i definitely feel for you, breaking up sucks and being the one to do it is even worse, i wish you both the best and hope that some good comes from ur situation!!

Don't drag it out. Sit him down, tell him you're sorry for this. And thank him for all the good times. For all the times he took care of you in sickness and in health. For every time he put a smile on your face.

Be ruthless and tell him you want a divorce. Leave absolutely no space for an interpretation that there might even remotely be a chance. This will set it in his mind that the relationship is dead, and he will finally start grieving it instead of just thinking of this as a rough patch.

Be neutral toned, and calm throughout the process. And when it's all done cut contact. With him, his family, and friends. I'd even take the additional step to block him on social media so he can't see pictures of you on lonely nights.

He will be intensely broken hearted. But since you'll be out of sight and out of mind, he will move on and find someone that loves him.

There's no better way. Disappearing? Picking a fight? Cheating?

What you should do unfortunately is separate physically. Watching him unwind emotionally and mentally will not help the situation one bit. It might even come off as a bit manipulative on his part. He's a grown man for Christ sakes he should be able to deal with this without completely falling to pieces. Staying there to witness it won't change anything it will just make you feel guilty.

Guilt however, is a voluntary response. That means you don't feel guilt unless you want to. To avoid regrets do the best possible thing you could do at the moment after careful deliberation and then own it.

I think sometimes in life relationships run their course and just can’t be fixed, more so if it’s a brokenness you can’t even explain, like not a certain thing. Just two different people growing farther apart. If you do not love them, in love with them, don’t want to stay, or are constantly questioning if you should..anything else. It’s time, will it hurt them yes, will it hurt you yes. There is no way to not hurt someone you have been with so long but if you feel this way and there is no changing that. Staying is worse. You are hurting them more, they may even disagree, but you are robbing them of moments and years they could be finding their happiness and full potential. What ever that looks like, Now what to do to help it try to be kind, soften the blow, offer support while they navigate this uncharted water you have already had some time if not years to try to come to terms with. Realize in the relationship there are both things tou brought to the table and try to continue some of that while the decisions and finalizing things are happening. Don’t just be mean about it. Understand they will be hurt and lash out but try to be supportive and civil. Just remembering it is what’s best if not in this moment but when the dust settles.

Counseling can help create that aafe space to process even ending things.

I did that with my ex I wanted to try to make it work he ended up leaving. There was hurt and pain and tears but there was a lot broken in our marriage too. It was for the best and I am glad it ended.

Probably fake your own death. I don’t see any other possible route of action?

End it. But I’ll tell you this. This could be something you’ll regret. Especially when you start dating and you can’t find a woman who sees you the way she sees you. She has set a standard and you won’t realize it until she’s gone.

Make the move for her and you. But I’m 70% sure you’ll regret it in a few months

Grow up a bit and break up with her, staying with her when you dont actually like her is the meanest possible thing you could ever do to a person and breaking up in literally any form is kinder

Grow a fkn spine and be honest.

Oh, if you’re afraid to break up with her now you have two options:

1. Tie a cinder block to your feet and jump in a deep lake.

2. Just go ahead and marry her.

See, not so hard to break up with her now, is it?

Don't subscribe to the idea of your "forever person". You will avoid a lot of suffering in the future.

Be honest, but kind as well. Do not by all means do not say "let's be friends". Or insert any other cliche break up line.

Example:

What I'm about to tell you is very hard for me. At one point I did see a future with us. Things change though. I no longer want to continue a relationship with you. We're not on the same place anymore, you deserve someone who's going to be fully invested. I think it's best for us to move on and go our separate ways.

Talk it out.

No matter what form of dating you are in (in person, online, a mix, etc), this is important. There's obviously exceptions like if you're being abused/cheated on/etc -- gtfo you don't owe them anything. But for your average relationship, where you simply fell out of love or can't uphold one due to life being life, talk it out.

Give that other person closure too.

In person and don't drag it out for months if you know your heart isn't in it anymore. Be kind

The real question is when do you break up with someone?

If you've already made up your mind about breaking up. It may be a good idea to write it all down. But keep it to yourself. And end things on a cordial note. Try not to get sucked back Into the relationship If you don't want it to continue.

Be honest, be kind, be firm, but above all, get it done.

Once it's done, any ambiguity or hope will keep them on the hook. They can't move on until they're off the hook.

No matter how nicely done the breakup is, it's natural for both people to have intense emotions. Be understanding, but also be clear that it's over (both to them and yourself). Letting things slide into a limbo state might feel better in the moment, but you'll probably end up having to break up with them all over again, which will ultimately be far more cruel.

coward move yung ididistansya mo sarili mo. tell her. give her closure. she deserves that

7 months isn’t that long. Better get off at the next stop before the return trip gets too expensive.

Just tell her. She'll eventually appreciate your honesty.

the truth is no one can stop you , kung ano man ang maging decision mo

The sooner you end it, the better it is to heal. Ganun talaga, kapag pinatagal mo pa, mas masakit yun for both of you.

In person, being honest. It may be the last time you ever speak, so might as well lay it all out on the table.

Definitely NOT cheating on them with a coworker and immediately moving out and stonewalling them when the affair is discovered...sorry, the wound is very fresh.

Not through a text message..

So after dinner. Got it.

I’ll give it a try!

Well… you’re super young and you’re a guy… trust me you’ll find someone better for you. If you don’t like her, keeping her around because you don’t think you’ll find anyone better is selfish. Especially if you don’t like her. She deserves someone as enthusiastic about her as she is about them.

Please just break up with her if you don’t like or love her anymore and please give her honesty and the full truth. unfortunately, not everybody gets that decency or closure as to why their partner stopped loving them one day. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. have a talk with her and let her know exactly how you feel and why. Being distant without explanation or hiding the truth from her is selfish so I hope you don’t continue to lead her on for your own benefit.

tell them upfront way you are breaking up, breaking down the points in greatest of details to your capabilities and explain why you thought of these points.

also if you can, and if the other person is supportive and respectful towards you, give them an explanation and guidance on how they can be better and improve themselves.

Fake your death

just be honest and respectful but if they cheated, all bets are off

Try the Paul Simon song.

Face to face. Make it brief in neutral place. State quickly that breaking up is best for both. Don’t feel guilty. Make it sincere and truthful. Just can’t reciprocate your feelings. Apologize then don’t linger wish them all the best.

Be gentle, kind but firm, and keep it centred on you.

With all the changes happening, I've been reflecting a lot about how I see this next phase of my life. While I do care about you as a person, I've come to realize that the partner I want to be and the partnership I want to be in can't be met with this relationship. I appreciate the last 5 years but I need to end this relationship and I think it's in our best interest to be no contact

Explain to him be last time that you are at a different stage in life, that your tone to meet and make it out as a couple has passed Stop responding to his new social media accounts. Explain to your family and friends that you have ended things with him and, perhaps, they’ll need to stop communicating with him.

You have never met??