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How to Fix a Bad Perm

GigaBrain scanned 73 comments to find you 59 relevant comments from 10 relevant discussions.
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How can I make this perm look better
r/malehairadvice • 1
Perm gone wrong?
r/HairStyleAdvice • 2
Perm left me with frizz and no curls
r/Haircare • 3
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What Redditors are Saying

How to Fix a Bad Perm

Understanding the Problem

A bad perm can result in frizzy, dry, or flat hair, often due to stylist error or unsuitable hair texture for perms [2:1]. It's important to recognize that perms chemically alter the hair structure, which can lead to damage if not done correctly. If your perm doesn't look right immediately, it might improve slightly after the first wash, but significant issues may require intervention [5:1].

Immediate Steps

After getting a perm, it's crucial to follow aftercare instructions meticulously. This typically includes avoiding washing your hair for at least 48 hours to allow the curls to set [1:2], [2:3]. Using a leave-in conditioner or moisturizer can help manage dryness and frizz [1:1]. If the perm looks flat or lacks volume, consider consulting your stylist to discuss potential corrective measures [2:4].

Styling Products

Using the right styling products can make a significant difference. Lightweight gels or curl creams can enhance curl definition without weighing down fine hair [3:5]. Hair mousse is another option that can maintain a wet hair look and add volume [5:3]. Experimenting with different products can help you find what works best for your hair type.

Consulting Professionals

If the perm is unsatisfactory, it might be worth discussing the issue with the salon owner or stylist. They may offer solutions or adjustments to improve the outcome [3:4]. In some cases, seeking a refund or corrective service from another stylist might be necessary [2:1].

Long-term Solutions

For severely damaged hair, more drastic measures such as cutting or shaving may be considered to start fresh with healthy regrowth [2:5]. Additionally, visiting forums or communities dedicated to hair care can provide valuable advice and support from individuals who've experienced similar issues [3:7].

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Source Threads

POST SUMMARY • [1]

Summarize

How can I make this perm look better

Posted by OneNet597 · in r/malehairadvice · 2 months ago
2 upvotes on reddit
3 replies
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ORIGINAL POST
post image

Just got a perm and I kindve don’t like the way it looks. Will it just get better with time or what can I do?

i.redd.it
3 replies
VirginNsd2002 · 2 months ago

You can't your hair is damaged

Your hair is dry, dull, brittle looking, thin, dense, unkempt, Str8, wavy, frayed, cooked, frizzy, curly, over processed, unmanaged, unhealthy, unhinged, damaged, and way over-the-top.

A daily leave-in conditioner or moisturizer focused on your type of hair can give you several different hair styles while providing healthy vibrant radiant hair

0 upvotes on reddit
OneNet597 · OP · 2 months ago

Damm, I just got it so today so I can’t wash it yet or anything but thanks for the advice

1 upvotes on reddit
VirginNsd2002 · 2 months ago

Follow your after care instructions to the letter. No exceptions

1 upvotes on reddit
See 3 replies
r/HairStyleAdvice • [2]

Summarize

Perm gone wrong?

Posted by Critical_Set_393 · in r/HairStyleAdvice · 2 months ago

Hello!

In desperate need of advice. Got a perm yesterday, and had my bangs cut again. Was nice when I left the saloon. It was nice and had volume. Within 1 hour it got flat.

I have not showered yet. Should I go back and ask the hair dresser before or after I try to shower?

Also. If this goes completely south, does anyone styling and/or product tips and trick to make it look ha half decent?

reddit.com
3 upvotes on reddit
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EverythingIsCreepy · 2 months ago

What perm?

1 upvotes on reddit
ravenclaw0331 · 2 months ago

I’m sorry. It looks like they just didn’t do it right, or your hair texture doesn’t take to perms well. Looks more like stylist error though. Same thing happened to me. I got a perm and you couldn’t even really tell I got anything and it fell out in no time. Went to a different person and now have wild curls that I want rid of but they won’t leave! lol. I’d go back and ask for a refund. I would not get another perm this soon for sure.

3 upvotes on reddit
Critical_Set_393 · OP · 2 months ago

Thank you, I was told to wait and see how it looks after the first shower. Hoping for better results then. Paid too much money for what looks like a bad cut I could do better my self.

2 upvotes on reddit
Fickle-Sir-8657 · 2 months ago

Did you get it wet? Brush it? Anything you could have done?

1 upvotes on reddit
Critical_Set_393 · OP · 2 months ago

Did nothing, not even brushing. No products, no water, nothing. And no, I did not cut my own bangs either.

1 upvotes on reddit
Fickle-Sir-8657 · 2 months ago

….I guess next time go to Walmart. I went there and got my hair permed and it looks amazing. (Do all Walmarts have hair cut places?) either way, I would never go there again. However, I would request a refund and show them exactly what happened. This was clearly done wrong.

2 upvotes on reddit
johnterence · 2 months ago

I can see only one solution for you, get it all shaved off and start again with nice abnd strong regrowth

2 upvotes on reddit
Critical_Set_393 · OP · 2 months ago

I’m considering it! 😂 still flat after first wash, and also feels like it’s glued to the scalped..

1 upvotes on reddit
Christ_is__risen · 2 months ago

Don't sweat it. There are more important things in life.

1 upvotes on reddit
Critical_Set_393 · OP · 2 months ago

Did you have any advice you wanted to share?

2 upvotes on reddit
Christ_is__risen · 2 months ago

"You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength." - Marcus Aurelius

1 upvotes on reddit
See 11 replies
r/Haircare • [3]

Summarize

Perm left me with frizz and no curls

Posted by mucus_assassin · in r/Haircare · 16 days ago

Hi! I (F, 63) am losing my vision die to a genetic cause. Thought I would get a perm as it is getting hard to see to style my hair. My hair is fine and color treated. I went to an “expert” in my area. She had permed my hair once before about 10 years ago with no problems. However, i have gone through Menopause since then and I told her that. I am using curl shampoo, conditioner and a lightweight gel she sod me. I waited 3.5 days to wash it. Now I’m left looking like a wavy scrub pad. Should I seek assistance from the salon owner? I feel like I would need a significant amount cut off to fix it. Thats not something I want to do. Any advice or help is appreciated.

9 upvotes on reddit
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electric29 · 16 days ago

You probably are handling it too much after washing. Go visit the curly hair sub!

Get it all detangled in the shower, with conditionaer and a wide tooth comb. Squeeze out excess water, and saturate it with a nice moisturizing leave in conditioner. You could also and a little gel and/or (some folks mix them) curl cream. Then just let it dry undisturbed, in the curls, do not blow dry it unless you use low heat and a diffuser (but air drying will look better even though it takes longer).

If your curls look too stiff when they are dry, just squeeze them in you hand to break the cast. Do not comb or brush them.

7 upvotes on reddit
mucus_assassin · OP · 15 days ago

Thank you for this. I don’t use heavy products. The gel she gave me is lightweight and I will try mixing that with a curl cream. I do let it air dry and it just keeps getting straighter and straighter. I do know that she spent several minutes rinsing my hair, which seems inappropriate in my memories.

2 upvotes on reddit
Apprehensive_Net_829 · 15 days ago

Perms should be rinsed extremely thoroughly.

3 upvotes on reddit
Junior_Owl_4447 · 16 days ago

I would let the stylist know and see if there's anything that can be done. Menopause is brutal on hair, my sympathies to you.

4 upvotes on reddit
mucus_assassin · OP · 15 days ago

Thanks I appreciate that! It’s certainly been a not so fun adventure!

2 upvotes on reddit
elvy75 · 15 days ago

If your hair is fine and she has sold you heavy buttery products they are weighing down your curls. I'd try the most normal products you generally use and see if curls are back. Fine hair needs lightweight products

2 upvotes on reddit
A
AutoModerator · 16 days ago

Hey, pssst! Did you hear the news?
We are building a wiki page together to create a knowledge base for r/Haircare!

Whether you are a newbie or a professional, share your thoughts on this post and you might get a pleasant surprise!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1 upvotes on reddit
See 7 replies
r/Hair • [4]

Summarize

Perm fail?

Posted by andrewmc18 · in r/Hair · 4 months ago
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Got a perm on Friday night (not my first) and it seems to look worse than usual. Can't shake the frizziness, dryness & constant knotting. Have used wide tooth comb, specific curl conditioner and shampoo and squeeze drying etc I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong? Is there just too much weight in my hair? I've booked for a haircut this Friday.

i.redd.it
2 upvotes on reddit
1 replies
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1 replies
andrewmc18 · OP · 4 months ago

Thanks for the great insight there

2 upvotes on reddit
See 1 replies
r/malehairadvice • [5]

Summarize

Update: Was getting a perm a mistake?

Posted by Bandoll_ · in r/malehairadvice · 5 months ago
post image

Previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/malehairadvice/s/ivU3RsAeXs

So its been 3 days since my perm that I at the time regret getting, and Ive done my first wash last night. Overall, I do think it looks better now that ive had some time to adjust to it (especially after getting rid of that middle part, wtf was that). So here are some of my thoughts.

 

Do I still think it was a mistake?

No, I dont regret it anymore since my hair was impossible to style when it was straight. No matter what I did or how much product I used, my hair would just flatten and any amount of wind would ruin it. Now its a lot easier since I dont have to deal with my hair at all in the mornings. Its also a nice experience to have at least once in my life since Ill know if a perm works for me or not.

 

Will I get a reperm in the future?

Probably not since a lot of you thought my old straight hair had potential if grown out. Ill grow it out and once this perm wears off, ill see what options there are. I used to always get a short-mid length haircut every month, so growing out my hair will be new for me. Any hairstyle recommendations you think I should get in the future is welcomed.

 

If you have any questions for me or tips on how to manage/style this perm, let me know.

reddit.com
136 upvotes on reddit
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thisismyname02 · 5 months ago

Have you put any products after washing it? You could try using hair mousse. It'll maintain the wet hair look.

1 upvotes on reddit
Bandoll_ · OP · 5 months ago

The only thing im using right now is curl cream at night after showering. Ill look in to mousse too, since i did notice my hair looking quite "dry" today while i was out. Is there a big difference between mousse and curl cream?

1 upvotes on reddit
Just_Ingenuity_9850 · 5 months ago

Noooo it looks real good actually

1 upvotes on reddit
KaHoJakeLeung · 5 months ago

You looking amazing 🤤😍😘❤️👍🏻🥰

2 upvotes on reddit
wenzelsrealm · 5 months ago

maybe

1 upvotes on reddit
ActiveDream5432 · 5 months ago

It looks good after the first wash. I was expecting to see tight curls, but you didn't make a mistake.

13 upvotes on reddit
See 6 replies
r/Hair • [6]

Summarize

Advice on perm gone wrong?

Posted by velvetthrone · in r/Hair · 4 months ago
post image

Awful perm done by stylist that salon said “does perms often and does them very well” that left my hair crispy/brittle, straight in random sections, and the ends of my hair were ripped out from the rubber bands connected to the rods. I had a perm done by the same salon franchise in another state back in January, which came out beautifully. I went back the same day after my husband took this picture of the back and I realized how bad it came out. I was refunded, they washed my hair the same day and gave me a conditioning treatment. They told me not to get another perm for at least two weeks. I’d love & appreciate any advice from experts, as this is my 2nd perm ever and no one I know has them done.

reddit.com
2 upvotes on reddit
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DryContract8916 · 4 months ago

did you have any color services done between your last perm and this one?

2 upvotes on reddit
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velvetthrone · OP · 4 months ago

Yes, I dyed my roots maybe a week prior. It’s usually medium/dark brown. This perm lifted the color quite a bit.

-2 upvotes on reddit
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ceruleanandsilver · 4 months ago

I’m not sure if it was due to the recent color, but I’m in cosmo school and I was taught there needs to be a minimum of 2 weeks between any color/chemical services

3 upvotes on reddit
DryContract8916 · 4 months ago

okay. that shouldn’t really have been a problem, lightening services were more what i was worried about. there is a possibility that you had some mineral build up that could have reacted badly with the perm but it looks like she just over processed your hair, which unfortunately since perms are such a strong chemical, you’re now left with damaged hair. you can’t exactly reverse the damage, but there are things that you can do to help. i’d do a deep conditioning treatment once a week, laying off of heat as much as possible, no lightening or perm services (i’d say at least 6wk but honestly, i’d go as long as possible), and you could really use a solid cut. i’d cut off a few inches now and then get on a set trim schedule for every 6-8 weeks. i know it sucks but those ends are pretty compromised with them melting off like that. they’ll be constantly breaking off and working against you while you try to grow this out.

when styling your hair, be sure to use lots of products with moisture. leave in conditioners and treatments are your friends. i highly recommend redken’s leave in treatments. i use their all soft mega curls hydramelt every day and my hair looves it. i’d probably mix that with another leave in + a curl cream (not mousse or gel, those have alcohol and will be especially drying in this situation).

for what its worth, i actually think these curls look pretty good. i know they aren’t perfect and the integrity of your hair isn’t there, but they look natural. i actually clicked on this post purely because it looks a lot like my natural hair lol

1 upvotes on reddit
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r/Hair • [7]

Summarize

First time perming my hair, I think I screwed it up

Posted by despicable_Roman · in r/Hair · 30 days ago
post image

Anything I can do to salvage it or make it look decent.

3 upvotes on reddit
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disco_priestess · 30 days ago

Did you wash it after perming?

2 upvotes on reddit
despicable_Roman · OP · 30 days ago

24 hours after yeah

0 upvotes on reddit
vs615 · 30 days ago

Definitely do NOT bleach or color your hair rn. It will cook from the inside out and will melt your hair. What you can do is get a deep conditioner and use it a few times a week. Aussie has a decent one worth trying to see if it can help your texture soften up

1 upvotes on reddit
despicable_Roman · OP · 30 days ago

Appreciate it thank you.

1 upvotes on reddit
vs615 · 30 days ago

Welcome

1 upvotes on reddit
RichCustard1130 · 30 days ago

Like that you're a Ghost fan.

1 upvotes on reddit
despicable_Roman · OP · 30 days ago

Yeah go this at their most recent concert.

1 upvotes on reddit
RichCustard1130 · 30 days ago

Wow bet it was awesome. I'm still waiting around the other side of the world for dates.

1 upvotes on reddit
Debrakay70 · 30 days ago

Perming hair can be tricky. Triming (cut) the ends of your hair and using a good conditioner will help get your hair healthy again.

2 upvotes on reddit
See 9 replies
r/HeadphoneAdvice • [8]

Summarize

I have a very bad IEM fit problem. Is it fixable without changing the IEM itself?

Posted by BC_LOFASZ · in r/HeadphoneAdvice · 2 years ago

So I bought a Tri I3 Pro and after a year of use I realized I didn't push it in enough so I wasn't getting the full potential out of the IEM.

Though, if I push it in properly my ears are in big pain after like 15mins more time=more pain.

The pain is inside my ear, where the nozle is. So not the back of the eartip. And when I am pulling out the IEM it is very very painful. After like 20-25 mins I can feel very bad pain even while the headphone is in my ears.

The main problem with this is that it sounds worse than any of my past IEMs when it is not in properly. As some of you know IEMs is all about fit, if you can't push it in properly it won't sound good (at least not as good as it meant to sound).

And the other problem is I don't want to take a break for like half an hour in every 15 mins of listening, since I always listen to full albums.

I like everything about the IEM except the fit.

Is there a solution for this or I should buy a new IEM?

1 upvotes on reddit
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TagalogON · 2 years ago

Try Spinfit CP155 (basically tallest/longest singleflange silicone ear tips on the market), it will allow your IEMs to protrude a bit and this can help with fit/seal and comfort.

You can also try Spinfit W1, just note the bass reduction, etc.

Similar threads about TWS earbuds/etc. not fitting in someone's ears: https://www.reddit.com/r/HeadphoneAdvice/comments/12lvne1/any_good_vshaped_iems_under_100_aside_from_cca/jg8962g/ and https://www.reddit.com/r/HeadphoneAdvice/comments/12kpfu2/truthear_zero_but_smaller/jg3gnpp/ and https://www.reddit.com/r/HeadphoneAdvice/comments/12kpfu2/truthear_zero_but_smaller/jg3gnpp/


Try Spinfit W1, FiiO HS18, AZLA SednaEarfit XELASTEC, Dunu S&S, etc. ear tips for possibly better fit/seal, noise reduction/isolation, and comfort.

The dimensions/sizing/measurements/etc. for most ear tips these days will be on Amazon/AliExpress/HiFiGo/etc. Unfortunately you have to blind buy the ear tips in order to get a feel for the dimensions/measurement/etc. that you like for your ears. Remember, this will also change with different IEMs as they'll have different nozzle length, nozzle angle, and so on.

Click this sentence for more info on the importance of ear tips sizing, dimensions, et cetera.

This is how you should use Etymotics or really any IEM or TWS earbud to make sure you have that good/perfect fit for that vacuum seal (necessary for the bass to be properly produced): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KwXEqe6Gq4

Before inserting the IEMs, make sure your jaw is as open as it can be and then you can also pull on the top of the ear with the other hand before you insert the IEM. Just wiggle it a bit to find the best comfort/fit for you, don't forget the seal for that underwater feeling or occlusion effect. Especially with foam ear tips, make sure to compress them as much as you can before inserting them inside the ears.


For new IEMs near guaranteed to be comfortable, look into something like the Sennheiser IE 200 I mentioned above in those threads. Or try bullet style IEMs like KZ Ling Long, Tanchjim Zero, Etymotics, Final Audio E500-E5000, etc. For bullet style IEMs, they mainly rely on the ear tips, so it doesn't really touch your ears.

Click this sentence for more info on AZLA SednaEarfit XELASTECs and foam ear tips durability and sound changes.

Click this sentence for comfort and everything with ear tips.

Click this sentence for how to put ear tips on wide nozzles (basically aim it at different angles and force it, be careful not to overdo it as it can damage the core/stem/stalk/etc. of the ear tips).


Alternatively, you can use the UTWS3/5 TWS adapters and its bigger battery side as counterweight for that earhook comfort. Might be out of budget though.

If you're using TWS adapters (makes IEMs and headphones wireless) like the FiiO UTWS3/5, and you need to use the MMCX/2-pin/etc. adapters/converters, then some IEMs like Sennheiser IE 200 will be loose and prone to falling off. And so the longer/taller ear tips emphasize this issue. For the IE 200, you can likely tape the MMCX ports so that it doesn't rotate as much and this can help solve the weight/etc. imbalance issue due to the angles and weight of the adapters/converters.

Keep in mind that some IEMs are really heavy or like the MMCX ports will allow it to rotate so freely that it makes the IEMs more likely to drop on the floor.

So yes, just don't move too fast or watch how you move your head as certain angles can make the IEMs fall off when they're significantly protruding from your ears due to the Spinfit CP155 or other tall/long ear tips.

I usually have this scary falling off problem when standing up or picking up something on the floor, but this can be somewhat mitigated if you have proper ear tips for the IEMs or deeply insert them.


I use my IEMs basically nonstop or without a single removal (don't be like me, always take breaks every 30 minutes or 1 hour) from my ears for 7 hours or so (because I use them in conjunction with the FiiO UTWS3/5 TWS adapters, and the battery life runs out, lol). So comfort is key. A lot of other people will wear IEMs for only several minutes at a time or only a few hours though and so that's why you don't really see people mention comfort. Usually IEMs will immediately tell you within say 10 minutes if they're gonna have long term comfort issues but ya it really depends on your ears.

So yes I feel you, I always listen to full albums too, I never really skip a track even if it's not my favorite song. I literally just keep the songs playing even if it's not cohesive/etc.

Anyway, point is that you probably have to get new IEMs as some outer shell designs are just not made for smaller ears, etc.

But definitely try Spinfit CP155, it's like $10 only, worth a try if the protrusion makes a difference.


If you're gonna use headphones because you want to give up on IEMs, just be aware of the headphones comfort issues too, lol.

For comfort with headphones, if you have a big head, ear piercings, glasses, et cetera, basically anything that will interfere with the seal/fit of the earpads, here's more info about headphones and glasses and workarounds it: https://www.reddit.com/r/HeadphoneAdvice/comments/zkjjcu/are_there_any_headsetsphones_that_are/j00kjt2/

2 upvotes on reddit
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Just_Low_1294 · 2 years ago

I always know when I have a great seal, cus the tips turn themselves inside out when I take them out. People complain about that happening? NO IT'S GOOD. Another thing I always do is lick my lips then kiss /moisten the tips, they just slide in easily then so you don't have to force them, which can bruise the inner ear.... Just read that back and it sounds a bit rude!!! Apologies .

2 upvotes on reddit
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tomatillo_ · 2 years ago

do smaller eartips help?

2 upvotes on reddit
B
BC_LOFASZ · OP · 2 years ago

Smaller eartip does help the pain, but the headphone sound like when it is not in properly.

Edit: so it is not a proper fix.

1 upvotes on reddit
T
tomatillo_ · 2 years ago

yeah you're looking for another pair of IEMs then unfortunately

1 upvotes on reddit
Abject-Classroom-784 · 2 years ago

I don't know much about this stuff I'll be honest, but sednaearfit xelastec tips are the best ear tips I've personally ever used. They conform to the shape of your ear over time. Only two cons: they get dirty very easily, and they cost $20 for two pairs.

1 upvotes on reddit
S
SlavJerry · 2 years ago

try different eartips size AND different ear tip shape or brands. some tips have deeper or shallower fits so find the one that suits you, I would suggest spinfit cp100+ or spinfit w1

1 upvotes on reddit
See 7 replies
r/Sovol • [9]

Summarize

how to tell if it’s bad filament, bad printer or bad me?

Posted by deathtowardrobes · in r/Sovol · 13 days ago

since i got my sv06 ive been slowly working my way through any problems, but this particular print i keep trying keeps going wrong and i don’t understand why. i’ve had one successful print but either it goes wrong at the start with the filament lifting off on the first three or four layers, or towards the middle/end where strands of filament lift off in the middle.

i’ve tried my best to fix the issues (raising the temp of the bed/nozzle, slowing the speed down to 40%) but i dont know enough about printing to really diagnose the problem. i know filament can go bad but im pretty sure what i’m using is fine. the bed is always given a wipe down with isoalco before use

i use ultimates cura to convert to gcode, but i don’t change any settings. the only settings ive changed are the ones that the printer booklet tells you too.

this is the print i’m trying to do: https://cults3d.com/en/3d-model/game/lips-stands-for-bratz-dolls-yourlaserplanet?srsltid=AfmBOopfBxpKmTwDS_rW5zuBYh3ntwyUUTdFR8piHZNuz9ztH4dwOYa3

4 upvotes on reddit
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LicensedTerrapin · 13 days ago

It's almost never a bad filament as long as it's dry.

1 upvotes on reddit
A
AutoModerator · 13 days ago

Welcome to r/Sovol, We're glad you're here! If you're new to the hobby and you have a question please visit our knowledge base, it's located right under About Community. If you've searched the Sub and you still need help please be as detailed as possible. Include your printer model, slicer, filament type, nozzle and bed temps, print speed, fan speed, and retraction. We're happy to help but we can't read your mind, be as detailed as possible with your post. Pictures help!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1 upvotes on reddit
bloodbath500 · 13 days ago

Clean your bed with soap and water and do not touch it after you clean it. I use Dawn dish soap and it’s great.

Then make sure your bed is level, idk what leveling is like for your machine. (I have the SV06+Ace and an SV07+). After you get it level, I give the table a couple of taps then check again.

I’ve got PLA that been in my garage open for the last 6 months or so. But everything usually prints fine. So I doubt that is the issue if you’re printing PLA.

The next thing would be to lower/raise the nozzle when printing. Until it looks good. There are a lot of test print files to help determine that.

Other than that, my only suggestion would be, try Orca Slicer with the default SV06 machine and see if it’s better. My SV07 runs way better from Orca than it did with Cura. Plus Orca has a bunch of sweet options that aren’t available in Cura. Like mouse ears!

Good Luck!!!

2 upvotes on reddit
deathtowardrobes · OP · 12 days ago

i do most of that already D: i’ll give orca a go tho ty! it’s noob friendly tho right? 

1 upvotes on reddit
bloodbath500 · 12 days ago

It’s not as noob friendly as Cura, but it’s not too bad. And if you’re using the defaults for testing, it should work and then you can spend some time figuring it out.

1 upvotes on reddit
Competitive_Owl_2096 · 13 days ago

Calibrate everything. Clean your bed.

1 upvotes on reddit
See 6 replies
r/CPTSD • [10]

Summarize

I'm tired of everything I do being wrong in some way. I'm bad at life, bad at human interaction, bad at functioning, bad at therapy, bad at finances, bad at making good choices. I'm so tired of being bad and wrong.

Posted by Ashamed_Art5445 · in r/CPTSD · 6 days ago

Seriously, it seems like I can't win. I don't only have cptsd, I also have depression, OCD, audhd, and chronic illness. I suck at every aspect of functioning in society, seriously every aspect of traditional functioning. I'm horrible with money, I'm bad at human interaction even though I'm very good at socializing if that makes sense, every relationship ends up going wrong and I'm always isolated because people are just too unsafe in every context now. I'm bad at working, I'm bad at career stuff.I'm bad at therapy, I'm a lifetime treatment resistant person, I have to do DIY work or no other choice. I'm also terrible at making choices, I'm always making the wrong one, or in freeze mode delaying and procrastinating, messing up my life even more. I just suck at everything and I'm so tired of never being able to do anything right even though I try hard. I beat the shit out of myself to survive, and it doesn't seem to matter, I'm still always messing up somehow.

53 upvotes on reddit
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AmbassadorFriendly71 · 6 days ago

I relate so much to this 😔I just feel like I'm not made for this at all... I also deal with ocd and dissociation too, which makes it worse. Everyone seems to know how to handle things, while I just feel so unexperienced at everything. I'm really sorry you are dealing with this.

5 upvotes on reddit
YellingWhisperer · 6 days ago

Did you hack my brain??? We should be friends. We can be good at being bad together.

Seriously. You ARE NOT ALONE.

4 upvotes on reddit
MinimumSuccotash4134 · 6 days ago

same, god, i try so so hard to make good choices but it's always the wrong one no matter what so now i'm scared to make any decisions at all because it will just be wrong. no career, nothing to my name, nothing to call mine, no achievements, nothing.

2 upvotes on reddit
Significant-Cap-6679 · 6 days ago

Most people hate me. Cause I dont fit into there mold. I can't, Idk why. I just cant follow others lead like that. And I get bashed for it and banned. Humans hate me and I get it. And I would still let them fly the flesh from my bone while im breathing if it meant the end of human suffering. And im not kidding.

If a god gave me that option. I wouldn't even think about it. My life is meaningless and if it can gain meaning by helping others im trying to do that. I hand out narcan on the weekends or if I see a homeless fella ill give them a $5 with some narcan. Most accept and are really nice about it. Others have hit or attacked me for it.

2 upvotes on reddit
lizboferrari · 6 days ago

Oh my god did I write this? But seriously it’s really shit isn’t it?! Try so hard, all the time, seem like it’s going ok, then either a health crisis, family crisis or just plain old CPTSD flare and it’s all just overwhelming again.

Currently got all three concurrently and today has been a freeze kind of day. I feel like I’m failing my partner and kids but I just can’t shake it off anymore, not even for them.

AuDHD also….the delayed processing is a real sob too.

1 upvotes on reddit
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