Not too long ago my almost 7 year relationship ended due to his cheating. I have never really dated and I was in that relationship from the age of 19 so don't really know how to do this as an adult! What kind of things do people put on their dating profiles on apps like Hinge? How personal do I go? What kind of photos? I'm totally lost and looking for any advice to help me start my new journey!

Online dating has been a major part of my dating life over the past 6 years with more than half of all the people I've been with in that time having come as a result of dating apps. The main apps I use are Bumble, Hinge, and Tinder and I get more than enough matches from these 3 apps alone so there's no need to worry about any others. Here's how you can create a profile that will help you do the same.

Now before we get into the actual profile/bio itself, something very important needs to be stated. Dating apps are inherently superficial and as a result, will not work for everyone, namely those who are objectively ugly. In addition, those who are of a minority, short, fat, handicapped, or old will also have a harder time than someone without any of those traits. I'm sorry, but that's life, I don't make the rules here.

However, anyone who is even just average in looks, or who only has one or maybe two of the aforementioned traits can still find success on dating apps, provided they maximize their own attractiveness and build the right profile first. And even those who are objectively good-looking still need to put effort into their profile/bio if they want to get matches so no matter what, having a good profile/bio is key.

Maximizing your attractiveness first

To have the best odds of success with OLD, you first need to maximize your attractiveness. What do I mean by that? Well first of all, it means improving your physical appearance. This means getting into shape (the more muscular the better), improving your style, getting a nice haircut, and grooming yourself, to more extreme things like getting laser eye surgery or wearing contacts (if you wear glasses), using anti-aging creams or getting botox to get rid of wrinkles (don't go overboard with botox though), getting your teeth straightened and/or whitened, and getting tattooed.

Note that you should never go the extreme route until you have the basics down though. Some people will also argue that some of these things are not actually attractive and that's fine. I'm just sharing my observations as to what I've seen be attractive to women over the years, but you are by no means obligated to agree with me. Do what you are comfortable with.

Attractiveness is also a combination of many other factors, not just physical appearance. It also includes attitude, energy/vibe, confidence, charisma, personality, social proof/status, fame, money, and stability. You don't need all of them to be attractive and some of them can be more valuable than others, but in the end, as long as you have a combination of several of them, then people will be attracted to you. To get matches on dating apps, physical appearance is much more important than anything else, but these other traits are also necessary if you actually want to convert matches into dates, and eventually sex.

Essentially, what I'm trying to say is that if you're not already the most attractive version of yourself, then you need to work on that first and foremost before you can even imagine trying to use dating apps.

If you believe you are, then continue reading to learn how to build your profile.

Putting together a winning profile

This part can be a bit subjective since it honestly depends on what your goals are with OLD. If you just wanna smash asap, then your profile will need to give off more of a low-key fuckboy/douchebag vibe that makes it clear you are just there to fuck. If your goal is to eventually get into a relationship with someone, then you want to avoid that type of profile and instead focus on giving off more of a fun/interesting vibe that makes it look like you're a cool person to hang out with.

And if you're looking for casual sex and/or fun flings with people where you don't just meet to smash, but you also aren't in a fully committed relationship with them, then you'll need a nice balance of both types of profiles. I will be focusing on this type of profile since this is what I'm best at and the tips I give for it can still be applied to both other types of profiles, should you prefer going one of those other routes. It's also the type of profile that gives you the widest variety of options too.

So first things first, the pictures. You're going to want 6 good pictures of yourself for your profile, namely because Hinge requires you to have 6 and also because it's a good amount of photos for someone to feel your vibe on any dating app. 1 or 2 is not enough and if you start getting into double digits, then you come off as borderline narcissistic and/or trying too hard.

Your first picture is the most important since it's the first impression girls will have of you when your profile comes up on their phone. Therefore, it should be a portrait (chest-high) photo of you smiling into the camera, something that shows very clearly what your face looks like. Smiling is also key to giving off a welcoming and comforting vibe. Make sure you're nicely dressed as well. This doesn't mean wearing a suit, it just means you need to look like you're not a slob.

I highly recommend working with a professional photographer to get this photo done if you don't already have a good one for this purpose. I personally use a selfie I took while traveling for this because the lighting really makes me look good & the background is cool so a professional photographer isn't always necessary, but it can definitely help.

If you're going for the fuckboy look, I still recommend a portrait photo for your first photo, but instead of smiling, you should have a smolder. Think male models on fashion show runways.

Pictures 2-6 are still important, but not as important as the first picture since girls won't even look at your other pictures if your first picture is crap. That being said, when it comes to the other pictures, you want to use photos that show off a fun and interesting lifestyle.

At least one of the other pictures should be a photo that is full-body and makes you look sexy (either a candid/natural photo of you at the beach showing off your body if you have one - no topless gym selfies unless you're going for the fuckboy look - or looking super classy in a suit or something if you don't). This is very important if you want to give off that bad boy vibe needed to achieve casual relationships and not just a boyfriend material vibe for long-term relationships.

Note that if you are looking for LTRs, I still recommend a full-body pic where you look attractive, but again, focus on looking approachable and friendly instead of sexy.

At least one more of the pictures should be a photo that shows off your social life. This means a photo from a party or at an event or simply with your friends. You wanna showcase that other people like being around you so the girl knows you have social proof. If you're going for the fuckboy look, I recommend a photo with a girl and/or girls in it. I personally use a photo of myself dancing with a girl to showcase that I can dance + that girls already like me.

The last three pictures should show off your hobbies/personality in some way. If you play sports, then maybe a cool action shot mid-game. If you like hiking, then maybe a picture of you at the top of a summit. If you do yoga, then you doing a yoga pose. If you travel a lot, then put a picture of yourself somewhere cool. If you have a dog, include a nice picture of you with your dog (and even if you don't, see if you can get a photo with someone else's dog for your profile - girls love that shit). Look like you're enjoying yourself in the photos you upload. Remember, the key is to look like a fun person.

Unless you're going for the fuckboy look, in which case, just limit yourself to photos of yourself looking hot/sexy. Bathroom selfies and other douchebag-type photos work well if you don't have sexy candid shots of yourself.

What to avoid:

• Fishing/hunting photos - always a running joke for women on dating apps, don't be that joke

• Blurry photos - your face should always be clear

• Photos with unflattering lighting - the right lighting can make a 5 look like a 7 and the wrong lighting make a 9 look like a 6

• Photos without you in them - girls are trying to date you, not a scenic landscape, random animal, silly meme, or a stupid quote

• Photos of you showing off your car/apartment/anything else that you own - again, girls are trying to date you, not your belongings. Unless you're super rich and want to attract a sugar baby, girls will just get turned off by your narcissistic materialism.

• Selfies in your car (especially when you're wearing sunglasses and a baseball hat) - unless you're going for that right-wing divorced boomer look (hint: you shouldn't be)

• Wearing sunglasses in too many of your photos - One or maybe two photos with sunglasses where you look cool are okay, but any more and it screams insecurity about the way you look

• Too many group photos - you should only really have one or two group photos max (to showcase social proof), with the rest of your photos being of yourself only. Girls don't want to have to go full CSI mode to try to figure out which of all your friends you are.

• Too many selfies in general - makes it seem like you have no friends

• Too many topless pics - unless you're going for that fuckboy look, in which case it can actually help

Getting photos taken

Before I get into the bio, I already anticipate people saying "I don't have any good photos of myself, how do I get them?". Well, as I said about the first photo, consider hiring a professional photogragher to take portrait shots of you. A hundred dollars spent on a great primary photo will go way further than a premium subscription for any of the dating apps.

As for the other photos, just start asking people to take your photo when you do fun things. If you aren't with your friends, then just ask a stranger. And if you're completely on your own (like on a solo hike or something), then consider investing in a portable phone tripod and remote shutter. Get into the habit of getting your photo taken whenever you're in public because the more you do it, the more you will get over your insecurities about it. (Don't overdo it though, just do it when there's a cool background or you're doing something cool in general).

Note: if you really can't imagine yourself asking a stranger or using a tripod + remote shutter to take your photo, then you have other inner game issues you need to worry about before you can use dating apps. Getting over your fear of how people perceive you in public is key to gaining that idgaf attitude and confidence that girls find attractive.

When it comes to taking photos in general, the best way to do it is to take multiple photos at a time and make slight movements/pose changes as you do. Whenever you ask someone to take a photo of you, you should have at least 20 photos to look at per photo session and each one of them should be slightly different from the others. This gives you multiple photo options to choose from, at least one of which will look natural and make you look good. Also be sure to make sure to test different lighting angles so that you get the right lighting on your face. Usually having the light source (like the sun) being in front of you works best.

Basic natural movements/poses include:

• Putting your weight on one leg while slightly bending the other one, then switching to the other leg

• Putting your left hand in your pocket, then your right, then both, then none. Also experiment with putting your whole hand in your pocket, then only your thumb, then only your fingers.

• Looking at the camera, then left of the camera, then right of the camera, then below the camera

• Leaning against a wall/fence/railing with one arm, then the other, then with your back (also bending one knee, then the other)

Now for the bio/prompts

The bio isn't as important as the photos since you could still get matches without it, but it's still a very useful tool to help increase your profile's attractiveness and get across the message you want to send with it. In addition, if you plan to use Hinge (which you should), then you will need to think of 3 prompts for your profile as well anyway as they are obligatory to include there.

Similar to the photos, the type of bio you include really depends on what you're trying to achieve on dating apps. If you're just tryna fuck, then make it suggestive, but don't be overtly sexual or crude, girls like a little nuance. Feel free to include the line "not looking for anything serious" to really get the point across that you're only looking to fuck. Include your height too so girls know what to expect from you.

However, if your objective is to find a long-term girlfriend, then the goal with the bio is to include as much information as possible for the girl to know more about you and to be able to start conversations with you. I still recommend including your height, but also where you're from, what languages you speak (if you speak more than one), and a little blurb about who you are, what you do, and what your passions are (pro tip: avoid mentioning video games though).

If you're like me and you're looking for casual sex and/or casual relationships, then you'll need a mix of the two bios. Normal information about yourself as well a cheeky suggestive line or two to show that you're not looking for anything serious. You can even be literal about it too and say you're "not looking for anything serious" somewhere in your bio, if you want. And if you're just traveling or only in a city short-term, be sure to include that information too so girls know what to expect from you when they match you.

I also recommend including some kind of line about ideal dates so the girl gets an opportunity to suggest it herself in the conversation if she wants to. This is best done with Hinge/Bumble prompts. For instance, say something fun like "let's check out a cool bar in town that we've both never been to" or "let's go to a brewery and order a flight of all their beers for us to have our own beer tasting session".

Oh and if you have a good IG profile, link it to your dating app profile and include your handle in the bio as well so girls can check you out for further social proof. But if your IG profile is crap or you don't have one, I recommend you either work on building it up since it can only help you in the long run, or just avoid mentioning it altogether if you're one of those people who "doesn't believe in social media".

However, I've found that those types of people usually only express that opinion because they are insecure about their profile or the way they look in general and not because of some philosophical justification about narcisissm or something. The majority of the western world is on social media and girls (especially the most physically attractive ones) actively use it so if you want to get on their level, get over yourself and join them.

The same tips I gave earlier about taking good profile photos also apply to taking good IG photos so get on it. If you don't have an interesting lifestyle to display on social media in the first place, then you have bigger problems to worry about than using dating apps. Work on creating an interesting lifestyle for yourself, then work on showcasing it on your IG profile.

Note: if you truly disagree with me about the relevance of social media, then all the power to you. I agree that social media is not necessary to be successful with women, but like I said, it can only serve to help you in the long run (assuming you have a good profile), so why not get on it? Up to you at the end of the day, of course.

What to avoid:

• A list of your dealbreakers/requirements. They are immediate turn-offs, especially if they are cringey like "no fatties", "virgins only", "no uglies" etc. You can include a list of traits that you "would fall for" since that's cute, but avoid anything based on physical appearance or sexual preferences/history. Focus on personality traits, passions, and hobbies you enjoy. Keep it positive and light-hearted.

• Spelling mistakes. Learn the differences between your & you're + there, their, & they're.

• Mentioning anything about politics or religion in your bio (unless they are uber important enough for you that you only want to date people who are the same as you).

• If you're short, don't be salty about your height by adding something like "if you care about that" after it. Own it. It will only help you in the long run since it will filter out any girls who have an issue with it from the beginning, avoiding a waste of time and energy later when they eventually find out, because they will eventually find out.

• Lying about your age. Own your age, you shouldn't need to lie to women to get laid.

• Using the same answer for all 3 prompts on Hinge because you're lazy. Put some effort into it.

• Making any references to The Office. Completely overdone and unoriginal.

• Mentioning that you're only looking for something serious (even if that's what you're looking for). It comes off as desperate and needy.

• Should go without saying, but don't be rude, racist, misogynistic, homophobic, or anything else like that. Basically, don't emit any negative energy in your profile, keep it positive.

• Badly formatted bios that are annoying to read.

• Anything with the energy of "don't message me if" or "swipe left if".

• Cliches like "fluent in sarcasm".

• Self-deprecation. It can work sometimes, but more often than not, it just comes across as insecure so you're better off just avoiding it altogether.

• White-knighting, talking about how well you will treat your girl/how chivalrous you are, or trying to claim how much of a gentleman or great/nice guy you are compared to the douchebags out there. So cringe.

• Referring to women as "females". Instant incel/mysoginist vibes and a huge turn-off for most women.

That's all I can think of right now, but I can also answer any further questions in the comments. Hope this has been helpful and much luck in your online dating journey, gentlemen.

I have little experience setting up dating apps and need advice on how to make a good profile.

I (24M) have a big issue with getting matches on dating apps and I don't know how to make my profile enticing for potential matches to swipe on me. I'm kind of plain looking, but I at least maintain basic health and hygiene and I enjoy both outdoor activity (traveling, hiking, festivals, etc.) and homebody activity (games, movies, etc.). It's really discouraging that I get zero matches/likes but people seem to think I'm interesting when they actually meet me. Anyone got tips to making a better profile? Maybe go to openers as well?

Hi all! I'm looking to try out dating apps for the first time, leaning towards Hinge. Just wondering what I actually need to make my profile good and find the sorts of people I'm looking for.

A bit about me: Geeky, love tabletop roleplaying, LARP, video games, fantasy, sci-fi etc. I've been getting into fitness lately Have a reasonable social circle Not a big partyer but down to try it out Decent job

I don't have a lot of recent photos and none of me doing things with friends because I've lost 28KG in the past 9 months, and I've been told by others I should have photos with friends. Is that something I should include in the profile or do I just take solo pics and hope for the best?

Any advice would be appreciated. I feel a little bit out of my depth here.

I always struggle to make my profile on dating apps. I’m never sure what to add and usually add way too much information. What would you include and what would you avoid? I don’t take a lot of photos of myself so I don’t have much in terms of photos as well.

What would recommend in terms of photos, personal descriptions, ie hobbies, likes, dislikes, career, etc... What usually grabs your eye on someone else's profile that makes you want to match with them and meet them?

I really do need someone to explain online dating to me.

It seems like there actually is a way to make a good profile, one that will get swiped a lot. I never knew there was such a thing. In reality, if I see a good-looking girl, I've already made my decision to want to get to know her, see if I like her, with no floating text bubbles over her head to see how she describes herself.

My profile basically just has two pics of me by myself and little to no description. I've heard many times this is bad, but in real life I go out with none of this information on display aside from the one you carry around with you always (your body) and somehow it works out through interacting, chemistry, and getting to know one another, but I guess online dating is different. And if I had pictures with others, why would I need a dating site in the first place? (Lol)

I really don't wanna sound ranty, but to me there is no purpose of more than a few photos that actually show how you look and short description of what you want and a little bit about yourself. Otherwise I would write an essay about my life, and who wants to know everything about a person you don't even know? I think it's half the fun to get to know others, but I guess only people with "good" profiles are worth knowing? After all, profiles are just text and pictures, how does that make the real life person better or worse? A profile almost seems fake in a way. Seems like people try too hard to sell themselves on dating sites, and if you don't, you're somehow not good enough for them. I honestly do not know how to sell myself, so I would really appreciate tips if you have any.

Sorry for the rant.

But okay, I guess I give in? What systematic approach do I need to make a good profile, what are the requirements? What should I write in my description? How do I make myself sound and look "interesting?" What photos should I put up?