meet in a public place and use your gut and judgement.

• I always have my location turned off so guys can never track down my exact address.

• I never pick up guys or ask to be picked up. We arrive separately, we leave separately.

• I always wait for them to leave first and wait 5-10 minutes before leaving.

• Meet in public, open spaces with lots of foot traffic, like restaurants or movie theaters or malls.

• I also always text my best friends before and after every date, and also during every bathroom break with updates.

• I'm a bit of a grandma, so I (25M) like to be home from dates by 9:30 at the latest, unless it's going exceptionally well. So my best friends know if I don't speak to them over the phone by 10:00pm, to call the police. I also remind them of this before every date, just to be safe.

• I also ALWAYS carry a pocketknife with me whenever I'm going on a date because you can never be too careful. I actually have it on me more days than not, because you never know. No guy has ever noticed it. So far.

The most important thing is trust your gut. The second something seems off, don't wave it away until your discomfort fades. Get the hell out of there, and if the guy is on the up and up, he'll be more than happy to reschedule.

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Not giving the phone # is a biggie too

Agree 100% for women and for men that need to hide their identity for whatever reason.

Personally I always give my real name & number but I have nothing to hide.

It’s been one of the biggest keys to my success for exactly the reasons you mentioned in your Post.

I'm still surprised by how many girls in the bowl use their real phone numbers. At one time, I automatically assumed everyone used a texting app.

I'd like to add, don't give them your real name either. Create a whole new identity. As a woman you don't need to be transparent or honest with men who are either cheating on their significant others or looking to use a woman that's significantly younger than them.

another option: dont sugar date

I use a google phone number now for people I don’t know well yet. I found out w a real phone number it’s easy for them to look up information about you including your address- yikes!

Make sure a friend knows where you’re going and who you’re going with, with all the info you have. Turn on a friend tracking app so that person can see where you are. Meet in public places full of people. Meet in places where people know you, if possible, so you can ask for help. Ask for help, trust your gut, don’t go anywhere with someone who doesn’t seem right.

I’ve never been asked but I probably would rather not. I’d ask why theybwant to know. As far as I see as long as your meeting in public there’s no need for a bunch of information to be shared until you’re more comfortable. Now I did start using Hinge recently which automatically shares your last name. Not a huge fan of this but at least it’s even- everyone has each others.

First date always in public. Tell a friend where you're going. I say 'if you've not heard from me by x time, raise the alarm!', and check in with them before that time. It's never been relevant.

That's all I do. But murders are pretty rare so I don't live my life in fear of that. I'm more likely to get mugged or hit by a bus on the way home, and I don't tell someone every time I leave the house, so...

I give a Google voice number and let a friend know where I am. Few months back I went on a date with a former NBA player, who had a severe case of special snowflake syndrome. When he found out that I gave him a Google voice number, he had the nerve to bitch about it repeatedly during the date. He couldn't care less that I said it was a safety precaution. Then he blows up my phone right after the date when I said I wasn't interested in a second date. Like this is exactly why I don't give out my real number at first. And he hasn't been the only to get offended at me doing this! It's not about them, it's about me feeling comfortable. The entitlement is unbelievable. I'm glad they weed themselves out.

Don't blow something off just because you're lonely or think he'll change. If something seems off or you get bad vibes, PAY ATTENTION TO IT!

Here are some tips:

-Google Voice

-Make social media private

-Avoid profiles with one photo

-Give people your date times, location and have your own public transportation available, planned

-Be skeptical of people with no local photos, background

-Always meet in public places

-Never leave drinks unattended

-Avoid going to the person's place on the first date, possibly 2nd, 3rd.

-Avoid getting off the apps too quickly to talk to people

-Reverse image search

-Google 'love-bombing'

Dont meet at their house, or yours or any hotels. If you are a woman lot of guys on OLD are looking for low effort hookup dates and will try to come up with every perceivable excuse to make this happen! Get a phone number and talk to them a couple times. You will get way more feel for someone when you talk to them! Tell at least 1 friend where and who you are going out with. Arrive there on your own accord dont have them pick you up or take you back. If you are taking a Lyft call ahead and make sure your ride is there. Dont give out too much personal info like location of work. Dont meet in remote locations especially at night. Pick a place where you know there will be some "foot traffic". If the person only has 1 pic ask for more. Had one of these a few weeks ago. Just had a not so great headshot and absolutely refused to send anymore pics had to cut her off.

Final word is your allowed to set your own guidelines to what makes you feel more comfortable. If someone is pushy, insiting you are allowed to break that off. Also trust your gut, if something does a feel right its probably for a reason if unsure check with a close friend.

In addition to telling friends or family where I’m going and who I’m with, I always suggest meeting my date for the first time at a place like Target. There’s a lot of people there all the time, there’s surveillance, there’s a parking lot, and there’s always something to do at Target. The guys I’ve gone out with generally like the idea, and it’s something different!

Get a Google Voice number. It’s free. And you can talk and text without them knowing your real number or location.

Don’t hand out your real number to anyone before first date. Use snap or a burner number

Im not a woman. However, on OLD lot of guys will try an get you to go their house. Or go to yours. THey will come up with every kind of reason or excuse for this to happen. Dont do it for two obvious reasons. One is safety an the 2nd 90% of the times they are looking for a hookup. Dont go on Google Hangouts or Whats App if in the US..Most of these are scammers. Dont go on any other site. Do not send money. If they ask for your number within the first 3 or 4 messages most of these tend to be catfishers/spammers. Always tell someone if you are meeting. Drive yourself or uber yourself there. Trust you instincts. Watch out for the married dues or guys already involved. There are plenty of them on OLD. If you have any other questions you can post here. We pretty much seen it all. Finally Welcome to the Shit Show thats OLD buckle up!

Be careful with catfishing and half-truths such as very old photos and choice angles. Take things super super slow to weed out abusers. If they really like you, they'll respect your wishes to go slow and be thrilled to prove themselves to you.

I was recently catfished, cute face but the girl was a completely different body type. I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt and hoped my attraction would grow, but the red flags mounted. So many more lies and obfuscations. She treated her roommate like a dog. She lied to her kids about little things. Would not give me any space. The signs were there.

When I broke it off after a month, she absolutely snapped her crayons. I have now blocked 7 different phone numbers from her friends and family trying to shame me for things I definitely didn't do and have 8 voicemails from her berating me and telling me she's going to publicly shame me and call law enforcement. This is my first experience with OLD after being married for 10 years (34m).

Full. On. Crazy town.

I'm getting a dog.

[I hope you like hot dogs] (https://media1.tenor.com/images/9e7095eaf2e0c85f8ca16eb165e51638/tenor.gif?itemid=16312576)

Just the basic stuff. Always meet people in a public neutral location for your first meet up, like a bar or coffee shop. Don't got to strangers houses, don't tell them where you live, and don't go to strange locations. Sometimes its good to let friends know you are going out and where you are going on your date. Trust your gut when it tells you something. Don't drink excessively until you get to know them. You can avoid being catfished by doing a reverse image search or by doing a zoom call with them. There are also scams people try to run and they try to get you to move to a different app so there is no evidence of anything that can get them banned. Don't give people sensitive information.

Also a very useful tool I just learned: get a google voice number! It's basically like a proxy phone number that you can use to text and call. It's how I avoid scams on craigslist and it keeps potential creeps or sour dates from having your real phone number.

Sending DM

These are good tips.

My recommended tip (I wish I could've told my younger self) is if you're consenting to have sex, discuss and exchange STI results before doing so.

I contracted hsv1 from one of the first guys I had sex with (using condoms) and he didn't disclose... But I didn't ask so I blame myself.

Firstly try it see if its worth your mental space. Keep an open mind, finding something serious via dating apps is like finding a needle in a haystack.

And if you do decide to give it a shot, below are some safety tips to follow-

1. I recommend chatting via an app, that way if they are crazy then you don’t have to change your number.
2. If you meet them in person meet in a public space like a mall or something and drive yourself.
3. Set boundaries and keep them.
4. Trust your gut, if something feels off it probably is even if you can’t put a finger on it yet.
5. Don't feel like you owe anyone your time. You don't. Do ghost them if they make you feel unsafe. Fuck their feelings, your safety is #1.
6. Always tell a friend where you are at and with who.
7. Learn to identify red flags

Always meet outside in the first meeting

Do not go to their place or invite them over….

Beware of Sweet talk to get laid

People will ghost doesn’t mean you have something to worry about

Be aware of love bombing. Sustainable long lasting efforts >>> being bombarded with too much effort initially