they say "message me on instagram! im not on here that much!" translates to: im really just looking for more followers for my instagram model page!

Asking for money

Hello

Take a look at this post

https://www.reddit.com/r/DatingEliteSites/comments/lcdswm/what_are_the_best_dating_sites_or_the_best_dating/

( What are the best dating sites or the best dating apps? )

Boring bio

If she brings up her ex the first time you meet, save yourself the trouble bro.

-stalling before meeting, even just for coffee

-chatting way, way, way, way too much

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Low self-esteem and negative self talk.

Asking for phone number and then questioning why that is a boundary (🤷🏾‍♀️)

Sexual conversation in the same range

Does not make a move to meet of the app/does not seem to be engaging in getting to know me

One word answers

Inconsistent stories

Immediately asks to go out for coffee and/or a walk (no offense to those who enjoy it, but that’s not my jam.)

First round is on me if: "I wouldn't say that"

"Princess treatment"

"Looking for a protector and provider"

"Spoil me"

Single moms

Nurses/healthcare workers/flight attendants

Photos or videos partying

I assume you mean "something" not "someone".

- anything alluding to helping them with their house i.e "looking for a tradie to help with my renos" seemed a common bio....

- anyone who is conservative/has religious stuff

- people who say "looking for a partner in crime"

- People who mention height

- photos with fish

- mentions hobbies I hate

- thinks the gym is a hobby/their entire life/personality

- all group photos or photos where I can't tell who they are

- mentions anything about finance or finances

- photo holding a fish

- anything racist or non vax or something else stupid.

Honestly I probably miss a few but there was a guy who's profile I read and he said something like "I probably won't hit you" and I just thought it was weird....made me uncomfy lol.

If every pic is just a head shot.... you probably fat.

Bible quotes. *gag

Controlling language like, "looking for someone I can protect." MAJOR RED FLAG

"Shut up, do what I tell you, I'm not interested; these are just some of the things you'll be hearing if you answer this ad. I'm an idiot and I don't care about anyone but myself. P.S. No dogs!"

All pictures of themselves, nothing about their social life or themselves, besides that they think attractive them self.

When they state their length in the bio

If they only have one picture or no picture at all. If they don’t want to video chat or talk on the phone. Iffy about meeting up. I’ll leave it at that. You have to be careful on dating sites, not everyone is who they say they are

Trust issues, constant lying, lack of communication, controlling behavior, disrespect, and avoiding commitment.

Excessive social media use. I don't want to do stuff just so we can take pictures.

If they lie or hide things early on.

Inconsistency, lack of respect, and controlling behavior are concerning signs.

When they say they will call you or suggest future plans and don’t follow through.

Saying one thing, but doing another.
Being/treating you different dependent on circumstances or company.
Saying they do/can't do something because of , but only when it's convenient for them.
Stuff like that.
Humans have their natural ranges and swings, but over time, these inconsistencies can paint a picture.

I think the most important ones would be:

1. Disrespectful/Belittling behaviour: Respect is crucial in a relationship and even joking in this bad manner should be taken into account as possibility for a worse dynamic in the future.
2. Lack of communication: they shut down or avoid difficult conversations. Relationships have ups and downs and being able to be open and honest in all kind of conversation is what drives it to being stronger together
3. Controlling tendencies/neglecting boundaries: You communicate and adapt in a relationship due to the other person’s needs, but there has to be a balance. You have your life and needs besides the relationship and no should control yours as they like. You are the most important.
4. Dishonesty: i think it is self explanatory, trust builds foundation for a strong relationship
5. Excessive jealousy: being overly possessive showcases trust issues

They spend a lot of their time complaining about how you or other people act. They don't take responsibility for their own role in anything that has happened in their lives. They tell you what to do or how to communicate or what not to do, and a lot of what you do is apparently wrong. They are easily angered. They don't respect you or like the things that you like about yourself.

How they treat waitstaff and those they perceive as lesser. If they constantly rant about sheep, for example, you know they're not a great person.

“All my past partners treated me like shit” roughly translates to “I acted in ways that justified their anger”.

Red flags: they are unemployed or work at a zero skill dead end job, they don't have reliable transportation, they don't have their own place to live, they are not financially stable, they post a lot of their personal business on social media, they have jealousy or insecurity issues, bad hygeine, bad driver, don't have much in common, they use TikTok, they are religious, they have a favorite politician, etc

I could write a 5 page paper of traits that would immediately identify someone as a fucking idiot that I'd never date for any reason.

Pay attention to how they treat others.

If they speak about themselves more than listening to you 🚩

Any guy who mentions "fatherlessness" as being a major societal problem. It's basically a calling card they they think domestic abuse is acceptable, and it's the woman's fault for leaving.

They turn up in the cybertruck

Notice if they are present and engaged during the date (whether they show genuine interest), if they are well-mannered, and if the conversation shifts to past relationships. If they’ve had more than 2-3 relationships and claim they were always right in every single one - know that the problem lies with them...

Lists are my biggest red flag.

Someone who doesn't respect my boundaries. For example if I tell you not to do something and 30 seconds later you do it anyway because it's "fun to challenge you". To me this eventually went too far.

I avoid people who only want to play with my emotions like being super cool to be around them disappearing for days or weeks with no explanation or communication 

My list of red flags includes people who say "don't invalidate my feelings".

Cos usually what's being invalidated isn't feelings but the reasons given for having those feelings.

For example, "I'm angry" is a feeling, but "I'm angry cos you didn't shut the door properly" adds a reason that can very much be invalid. Would either of the following two responses be "invalidating"?

• You're mistaken - I did shut the door properly
• My way of shutting the door is fine and can't reasonably justify your anger

My answer is No, but people who say "don't invalidate my feelings" tend not to agree. They're basically extending the concept of "feelings" to cover all their thinking, and then using the idea that "all feelings are valid" to block any debate over their thinking.

I freaking hated that. We were just never on the same page emotional intelligence wise.

I don't think I can afford to have red flags lmao

Treating service employees like trash

Reading nothing but lewd "romance" books

Poor toilet hygiene

Wanting to see you every day. Blowing off friends for you. Losing any sense of their own personality.