Work on yourself. It's annoying advice to hear but it's the only necessary one.

People have struggles with letting go of the ideas or structures that are keeping them stable. That's because they aren't stable or secure in themselves. A rejection can feel like your world is falling apart, because either your self-image or ideas you had about your reality, have just been shattered in seconds.

If you can't handle that happening to you, it's because you're not secure in yourself. Go accomplish a goal you have, invest in self-improvement, whether it's appearance or fitness, go learn a skill, go learn about the world... Just start chasing what you want.

It was not a waste, not at all. It takes a lot of courage to tell someone abt your feelings. It's hard to do, but yet it is something so beautiful. You learn from these things. You only grow when you do something uncomfortable. Growth doesnt come from comfort. You took that step, and even though you got rejected, im proud of you for it. So keep going. Move on, and meet new people. Keep going and keep growing. Wish you the best of luck

Talk to other guys

That sounds very painful but I like to think that is just the universe’s way of making sure you quickly make up room for whatever is coming next. It is quite odd for someone to say no so abruptly like that, making me believe all the more that it is a sign <3 be sad and angry for a while then realise that he is a dick!

I think you handled it really well! They’re usually devastating because you haven’t gotten to see their flaws. Most of what you know about dating this person is a narrative you created in your head, which is more perfect than what it would have been.

“Rejection is one thing but rejection from a fool is cruel.”

What's sucks is when they are the one flirting and showing interest first and you see them lose it in real time due to your own self not being enough

“I thought he liked me too” - this is why you don’t assume or jump into any conclusions unless or until you fully know how the other person feels. You will get over it, also he isn’t the only guy on the entire planet to exist so you will find someone better in the future who will truly love. So work on yourself, try to focus on your life and eventually you will move on.

Having a crush on someone makes you feel vulnerable. It’s a more personal feeling than applying for a job. If you’re rejected for a job, then they’re rejecting your skills and whatnot. But a crush turning you down is rejecting you, which feels like a direct hit.

Don’t overanalyze your interactions. Sometimes the feelings just aren’t there. It’s probably not because of something you said or did. He just doesn’t feel that way towards you. I’m sorry.

Thanks guys! I’ll share this thread with the person who I rejected today

Don't worry about it. There are a hundred more that you would want anyhow. Look at the big picture. Normally wouldn't work out anyhow because you are blinded when your crushing to their imperfections. Then when they start showing up it ruins the whole thing anyway.

Play video games that make you feel better or very angry at that person

Sorry my cat walked over my keyboard

The best way is accepting that you more than likely won't handle it well (initially). Especially if this is someone you really had feelings for, the most important thing is to not brush away what you feel. Cry, be angry, don't repress what you feel.

I want to emphasize that I'm not suggesting you stalk, berate, retaliate, or contemplate revenge for a rejection. Although, covering up how you feel ("Manning up") will absolutely make the overall shitty situation much worse.

Once you have cried/screamed/shit yourself you just gotta get up, brush it off, and don't let your future opportunities go to waste because of the one time you heard no.

Step 1: Cry internally

Step 2: Smile, say, "no worries", go separate paths

Step 3: Cry externally then

Step 4: Eventually find another crush

Step 5: Get rejected again

Repeat Steps 1-5

The first couple of times it’s rough, but after like the third time you kinda go “oh well” and you move on to the next one. I mean it still stings but you’re less hurt about it

>It takes so much effort (and time) to work up the courage to make the move, that you wind up invested in someone who has no clue. When they reject you, it's like a break up, it's personal and it hurts because you care and they don't.

You just answered a question I've been fighting with for a year and a half...why does it hurt so bad.

For me it’s been like an upward facing parabola. The early rejections were very difficult, but they got easier over time, partially because I got numb from getting nothing but rejection. After a couple small successes I wasn’t bothered by it. Then after a very bad rejection it started getting harder again. Now I have debilitating anxiety over rejection and basically can’t sleep for 10 days at a time if I even consider telling someone I like them. I don’t even bother anymore not only because of my anxiety, but because there’s almost no one single left at my age.

I think when we're young and inexperienced in dating/romance, crushes are more likely to turn into limerence a.k.a. "one-itis": We obsess with our crushes, make them out to be more than they are, and convince ourselves they are "the one." If we get rejected, we feel like we lost the love of our life. We think romance is like what we hear in songs and see in movies: There's that one special someone, and you can't live without them.

When we get older, and have either been in a relationship, or have been rejected a few times, we learn that dramatic, whirlwind romance is just storybook stuff. We also learn that mutual attraction typically happens pretty quickly. You can almost never "make" someone fall for you. If it's not evident up front that there's a mutual attraction, then the answer is to move on.

I'd just add something about the "still be friendly" part. If they were a big part of your life, it's important to try and keep things cool, but a big mistake a lot of guys make is to try and "just be friends" whilst still trying to get to be with their crush in the end.

Most of the time, it's just wasted energy, and having this expectation will taint the friendship. Sometimes, it is better to move on to other things in your life, even if it means losing that crush as a friend (doesn't always have to be that way).

This is the best. More people need to take this advice.

Also, don’t wait around only with the intent to try again months or years later. This will create feelings of resentment because they will think you don’t respect them as a friend and only see them as a prize if the feelings aren’t mutual.

Buddy, I've been rejected so many times that I don't even react anymore.

Its more that you learn to shoot your shot earlier and not let your infatuation grow. That first time you've probably been pining for weeks or months trying to figure out HOW to ask. After a couple of goes you start asking after a week or so, or sometimes as soon as you feel an attraction.

If you get shot down early, you don't get into a relationship with a fantasy. That first crush you've imagined a family and weddings and shit. You had a whole relationship with somebody who just thinks "you mean that guy in English class" about you and nothing else.

I rejected myself for him. Easy. Done.

Agreed! I once read a post that said rejection lasts minutes, maybe days and months, but regret lasts a lifetime. So let's just go for it! For the plot at least 😆❤️

I rejected myself for her, over!

It’s better for you, yes. However, if you want to keep the relationship with someone as a friend or don’t want to hurt them, revealing this revelation could cause some problems

I second this alot. if you and that person are good friends and they are understanding then why not shoot your shot. there's is no reason you both can't just be friends after

Crushes come and go if you get rejected you shouldn't let that ruin your whole love life. It stings but you just need to move on.

reject the rejection

They lost someone who liked them, you lost someone who didn’t like you.

Sleep with their dad

Life goes on. Better to get rejected than to never try at all.

I sorry this happened and it happens to all of us. Long crushes suck because we get over invested in a fantasy that the real person will never measure up to.

First you have to accept it, grieve it for a little bit, then move on on quickly. Don't dwell on it, you shot your shot it will be OK.

Now you have an opportunity to talk to other guys, make more friends male and female. This guy that turned you down is now just a friend, not the total focus of your spare mental energy. You are free.

Now go put the freedom to good use, school, career, hobbies, friends etc...

You just go back to your old life and wait for the feelings to go away

I think you should take a break for a while, and give yourself some time to process this. I got rejected as well, but now she and I have become even closer. I think it'll be easier knowing that things can go back to the way they used to be, but there is also a comfort in knowing that you don't have to choose that option. He's giving you a chance, not forcing you to make a decision. It seems like he cares about you and that's great! Take some time away, then think about it again. It really helps! 😎

Ice, chocolate and maybe some alcohol

I would try to stay in your crush life and respect him or her. I have had lots and lots of different people as a crush and I never really told them. Yet someone told me that they have a crush on me and I was unsure how I felt about it. Yet we have stayed in touch over the years. Crush needs to go both ways. I hope that helps.

honestly i got rejected and he said it the nicest way possible but before i told him i kept in mind that i like his personality and would still want to be friends either way but it’s different in other situations if you think it will be weird between the two or take a break from her and if you still wanna be friends after your break then tell her. another thing to help you is to think that you actually confessed and gave it a chance because if you don’t you will never know.

Unfortunately, the only cure I’ve found to make sure I don’t take things personally while dating is to keep going on more dates with more people. I hope someone else has a better suggestion because it’s exhausting.

I say this gently. But he’s already decided he’s not interested in doing this. Him saying maybe we’ll see was an attempt to let you down easy. Then you followed up and he’s hoping you’ve gotten the hint. He’s not interested in doing this.

That’s not a reflection on you… I know it’s really hard to not take this personally (I get it) but it’s really not about your worth. He’s had bad experiences in the past and so he doesn’t want to do that again. That’s not a measure of your worth. That’s his not wanting to potentially cause himself pain through a long distance relationship. He’s just protecting himself.

I mean he made it kinda clear he wasn’t interested in continuing this.

And she knew that too, because she text him saying she’d still be interested if he changed his mind…

So no. I wouldn’t say he ghosted her. It’s not like he just disappeared out of nowhere…

8 dates and no physical affection whatsoever? Not even hand holding or hugs? Is that typical for your dating experiences? Sounds more like a platonic friend than a potential romantic partner.

Babe, you ARE worth it, just not for him. And that’s ok! There are people we enjoy hanging out with, people we never want to see again, people we’d climb mountains for and lots of people in between those places. You’re just not THE person he’s looking for. That doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. It just means he didn’t feel that all consuming drive to continue-and that’s not a slight on you. We all deserve to be with people we really really feel strongly for!

You don’t need a lukewarm man, you don’t want one that replies and keeps you hanging on out of convenience, you want one who says “yes! Yes I want to continue seeing you! I’m really enjoying my time with you and I can’t wait to see you again!” He’s out there. There’s probably 50 of them right in your city who are also not having the best luck dating and wish they could meet someone like you. You are (several) someone’s perfect match and you can’t give up. The next date you go on could be the right one. Don’t let your heart get hard over this -you have lots to give and the right person is going to be excited to receive it. Keep putting your heart out there. It will pay off. You will find your person who can’t wait to travel to see you!