I really hated that they did the strip club for the women (I would hate it for the men too). I wonder if they were trying to stir up trouble between the couples by doing that, because it's clearly inappropriate, and will not help their relationship with the in-laws once it is airs. Does anyone need footage of them in a strip club being in the public domain?

Producers, in collaboration with the directors, signed off by the Netflix execs.

Producers who want drama.

Production plans everything, including the dates, parties, and weddings.

My MOH is planning most of it, but I have input.

is there an option for not having one? 😅☹️

I didn’t have a bridal party so I planned the big things (it was a one day event) but my friends wanted to do things like make snacks and get decor which I was very grateful for!

Being able to plan my bach was incredibly important to my MOH—she saw it as the greatest honor of the role. That being said, we had sort of an unusual situation in my circle for my wedding. We had a short engagement and a destination wedding, so to eliminate the financial of a second trip I said I’d have my bach a few days before the wedding at our destination location. With that, I advised my MOH the main activity that I thought would work best for our group (a day at a theme park). I paid upfront for everyone’s tickets and covered two nights of accommodations. She covered the full itinerary for the day, fast passes, the morning welcome party (snacks, decor, favors, etc.), all dining reservations/plans. She knows me better than anyone else and planned my perfect day!

We planned it together. I had 3 bridesmaids (my sisters) + my mom, and we went on a cruise for My bachelorette. It def needed everyone’s input!

My sister just had her bachelorette - she planned large parts of it with us and the MOH + one other bridesmaid narrowed down activities and stuff (restaurants, etc).

For both of these, the attendees planned alllll decorations on their own, that was the big surprise element lol.

I have noticed among my circles it's become more common for the bride to plan the bach. Even my friends who have had bridesmaids, the bride has still done the bulk of the planning with the bridesmaids being more auxiliary in help (think booking a res, coordinating payments, etc, but not leading the planning).

I don't have a wedding party and am entirely planning my own. I don't think it's weird at all!

I would say yes, if you want them to plan it then ask. I'm planning my own because I don't trust other people.

I honestly planned mine myself. I had a general idea of what I wanted to do along with activities that would be of interest my friends.

I planned my own and paid my own way. Nobody seemed to mind. Those who couldn’t come stayed back. No biggie.

I'm a super type A person and basically planned my entire bachelorette party and my MOH executed what I already planned. So it's not weird to plan it yourself if you want to.

However it sounds like you don't want to, so If they haven't volunteered I would start with asking if they'd be able to plan your bachelorette for you and give them a general idea of what you were thinking in terms of timeframe and plan.

I’m planning mine, I honestly didn’t know it was a tradition that your moh is supposed to plan it. I figure I get exactly what I want this way too!

Sometimes people have better intentions than execution.

I agree to the “honor” of being in bridal parties a lot. Thank god I’ve only been MOH twice. I am a SHIT planner and a crappy BM leading up to the event.

I’ve recently been diagnosed with ADHD so that could be some of it, but also I am just a very busy and unorganized person. I can’t make every event and I am never prepared for the event until the day of.

BUT, I am a TERRIFIC day of BM. I have 2 pairs of back up shoes in the car because I have to return them after the wedding because I didn’t like them. I have 3 different kinds of stain removed because I spill a lot. I have safety pins and a sewing kit because I always say I’ll fix stuff in my hotel room the night before when I discover holes or missing buttons or loose hems while I’m packing. (How did no one know I had ADHD?!) I have all the hair and makeup tools and moderate skills. I always start and finish the dance floor. And more than once I have stayed late cleaning.

Like, my skills are different. But they are just as useful when they’re needed. And they come from the same place of love.

But I will never organize a party. I might not even attend all of them. Missed a dress fitting once. That was depression. Not personal. I didn’t plan my wedding either - eloped - or it would have been a shit show. But I still love the hell out of my friends. I just don’t love them more than myself, which isn’t much some days…after I complete all my other tasks and duties.

To be honest, I never put this on my bridesmaids or MOH because I didn’t want my wedding to feel like work for them. I ask for their opinions often and request super specific favours I know they’d actually enjoy or find easy but beyond that, I haven’t expected them to take on the planning or organizing. If I did want that level of involvement, I would’ve been direct and clear about it from the start and also managed my expectations. It just doesn’t feel fair or appropriate to expect that in today’s world.

I guess what I’m saying is: try not to use this as a test of how much they care. It might help to depersonalize it a bit and consider that their lack of involvement isn’t necessarily a reflection of how they feel about you.

Came to say this. And I am NOT a planner, but with something this important to me…….. also I felt like if I wanted it done the way I wanted it to go, it was up to me to decide/plan.

Yes, I'm not seeing the part where OP communicated her desire to have these events planned by her friends. How are they having monthly planning meetings but nothing gets planned? How did a date get set for a shower but nothing planned?

And if your new friends are willing, don’t be afraid to ask for assistance. You can also ask your MOH to do things but if they don’t, still proceed with what you want to do w/the ones willing to step up for you.

This is exactly the problem.

I could write an entire manifesto about how girls are trained to think a wedding is the most important event in their life and attribute undue significance to a single day, to the detriment of their own self worth and happiness.

I’m planning my own. My best friend planned her own. If you want it, do it. And planning it yourself you can make sure it is something you want

Your MOH should plan it.

I planned my own bachelorette and highly recommend it!

I even paid for all of the lodging as a gift to all the special women in my life cause I wanted my bachelorette to be just as much about gratitude for our friendships than just about me getting married.

So as the bride to be you set the tone. Generally the bride picks the location/length of the trip no matter what so like “I want to do 4 days in Miami”

For picking dates, usually the bride will give a few weekends that work best for her then everyone will vote to see if there’s a date that works best for everyone.

From there, it varies. My best friend wanted hers to be 100% surprise except the city and dates and her sister planned out 100% of the activities and restaurants etc. In this case her and her sister had talked about their ideal situations for years etc so as bridesmaids we just gave input on certain things

For mine, I had a pretty solid idea of the activities I wanted to do on what days so I picked those but I needed help picking cool restaurants/bars/clubs so my sister helped me

It’s all up to you - nothing is weird as long as you communicate well Some brides like to have the entire thing planned out and surprise the wedding party with what the activities are, sometimes the bride likes to be surprised by everyone else, sometimes there’s just planned activities with an agenda everyone gets sent etc lol

I am going to plan and pay for my bachelorette. But it will be an afternoon activity + tapas and drinks at my place. Not a week long trip to the other side of the continent, lol.

I don’t know if there really is a typical as everyone has different wants or needs and different vibes to friend groups. I can tell you a few examples of what friends have done or expected. One friend wanted to go to Cabo and so I booked the room and brought games. She had a list of clubs she wanted to see and we filled in the gaps with more spontaneous things. Another friend asked her MOH to plan a weekend at a certain location but outlined some activities she wanted to do. I planned most of mine, verifying with friends if certain activities were ok. It was a blast and my MOH planned the games.

girllll i kindaaaa feeeel you. Idk if the guys group chat is more lit bc they don’t have the same responsibilities or what 🤣

I literally asked on the chat who will be able to celebrate the bachelorette with me. Only 2 replied so i’m automatically excluding everyone else. I could honestly care less if it’s just me and my bestie only or more people. I feel it’s more fun the less people it is and just meet strangers wherever the night leads. It’s okay 💖

I don't have any advice for you, but just know you aren't alone. I'm the last of my friends to get married and they all have children. Most of them didn't make an effort to even show up to my bachelorette (dinner about 30 minutes from us and drinks at a local dive bar afterwards). For those that did come, it was like pulling teeth to get them to come to the bar after dinner. I felt like I was a nuisance and disrupting their Saturday night plans. They really have stepped up for the actual wedding day, but it hurts to celebrate them and their milestones and not have it be reciprocated.

I kind of planned my own bach, or at least started with it/ got the major details together (my MOH is my SIL, she's my brothers wife, and she's amazing!). I started off gathering an idea of what things would cost, then presented it to my group chat to see what their thoughts on cost were! We scaled back where needed, left wiggle room for surprise costs, and I messaged mt one bridesmaid separately who i knew was in a financial pickle so I could work out a plan with her separately. So I ended up doing the basic plan, my bridesmaids helped fine tune it, and my MOH did the booking/setup! I ended up only having 1 bridesmaid not be able to come because she had a life situation get in the way, and the way we worked it took a ton of stress off myself as well as my MOH. It was a BLAST!!!! And I also hate asking ppl to pay for things. I think being up front about costs from the beginning helped so much, cuz then it was something we all agreed on rather than me going "this is what I planned ans I will need this much from each of you" so it felt less like asking them to pay.

To save some money, get a cheap box of wine ans pregame before the bars! There's also these bachelorette dare cards i got on amazon with a scratch off for the dare. The bottom says "opt out by buying the bride a drink". I handed them out to so many strangers, made so many new friends, had a hilarious time, and got a surprising amount of free drinks (I honestly didnt expect ppl to go through wkth the dares or the drinks, but ppl were great sports and honestly had fun with it!!).

Congrats king glad to see +100 complementing girls got you somewhere.

Wow you are planning a surprise party and your own bachelorette. If I were in your shoes I’d have a nice dinner with a cake, sparkling wine and call it good.

So much on your plate and it sounds like you are doing all the lifting. Please chat with your partner over a glass of wine. Can you enjoy the company of your beloved and let the burden and disappointment go for a few hours? You have my sympathy.

If the groom asked you to plan do something and send them the bill. No I'm joking. Why don't you have a chat with them and understand what they really want. :)

wait, you're not supposed to plan your own bach?

Totally not nuts! I planned my own bachelorette party because I’m very type A and also because I didn’t want my bridesmaids trying to do a “insta-worthy trip” that wouldn’t have been as fulfilling as what I had in mind; which was to get as many of our closest friends together to celebrate our love as a couple while also not having to spend a ridiculous amount of money or being super poised in front of in-laws and family.

I ended up doing a joint bachelor-bachelorette party that consisted of 2 nights of different activities. Since we shared a lot of mutual friends this made the most sense. Friends could attend 1 night or both, and best yet they could sleep in their own beds, didn’t have to break bank, and didn’t have to travel or pay accommodations.

Night 1: party at my and my then fiancé’s (now Husband’s!) house. We invited our wedding party, closest friends, and their partners. There were wedding themed decorations, games, karaoke, feathered boas, balloons, diy photobooth and props. Everyone was very excited and were happy they didn’t have to spend much money other than on their own alcohol and snacks. We grilled burgers out back. We danced, took pics, and everyone had a common understanding that it wasn’t just a “chill” party but a night to really celebrate! Our friends really came together to make it fun. And when I was ready to pass out, I just had to walk a few feet to my bed; didn’t have to worry about how I was going to get home. Nobody was required to stay overnight, so some had people (that did not drink) drive them home to rest up before the next night. And others, slept over. Those who slept over all went and got Starbucks in the morning. 10/10 recommend; it was a BLAST.

Night 2: was a planned night out (also local) where I planned a scavenger hunt for the bride’s team (friends that were closest to me, not all female) vs groom’s team (friends closest to FH, not all male) to compete in at the same locations but different tasks. It was well-thought out because I made it specific to our group, it was fun for all because I included everyone, and some more people got to participate that weren’t able to attend the night before.

Etiquette seems to vary on this, from what I read here. Where i live, you don't plan parties in your own honor.

If you want an evening with your friends, I see no reason for you not to plan one, assuming you will pay your own way.

I think as long as it’s an event/weekend where you contribute at least the same amount of $ as everyone else (and it’s not super over the top and expensive) it should be fine! If you planned a spa day, a night out, or a very low key weekend getaway somewhere close to everyone, it would totally be acceptable in my eyes.

I did it, hosted in the city where I live and had a blast! Saved costs for my guests by having a few of the meals at my place over the course of the weekend. It was a phenomenal weekend I would not trade for the world

Nope, not weird. May ibang grooms lang kasi na magsasabi pa ng restrictions. Asking about it, helping to plan, giving funds and ideas to MOH is helpful. Pero syempre at the end of the day, depende pa din yan sa personal relationship nyo ni MOH.